Stoner #1: Do you have telekinesis?
Stoner #2: No, but I got call-waiting and that three-way call thing.
McDonald’s
Escondido, California
Overheard by: DLo
Archive for the ‘Stoners’ Category
Mmm, Sacrilicious
Stoner: That’s like saying Jesus and Gandhi are the same. A Gandhi would be the cinnamon bun and Jesus would be the cinnabon.
100 Main Street
Cincinnati, Ohio
I’m Still Not Sharing with You.
Girl: Don’t worry, I won’t be lonely tonight. I’ve got a date with a gravity bong.
Stoner guy: … That’s, like, the sweetest thing I’ve ever heard.
Sacramento, California
Overheard by: MeganMama
We Prefer ‘Hoboes’– but Thanks for the Weed!
Stoner #1: The other day I saw this homeless guy, and I felt bad, and I had just bought a stack, so I gave him some weed. He was like: “Thank you very much.“
Stoner #2: Are you serious?
Stoner #1: Yeah. I don’t care what anybody says, that was the most down shit ever. I fucking love bums.
Chino, California
Unless It’s a Naughty Nurse
Stoned frat boy: I have this aversion with talking to dentists… or really anyone who wants to help me with my general health.
SUNY Geneseo
New York
Overheard by: Jeni
In Kansas, Recreational Eating Goes Extreme
Stoner #1: … And it burned the whole way down! Seriously, I think my throat hemorrhaged.
Stoner #2: Well at least you didn’t eat nine bowls of pudding.
Kansas State University, Manhattan
Overheard by: I wish I heard the beginning…
If All We’re Gonna Do Is Fall Down Them
Stoned guy: Stairs are really dangerous!
Stoned girl: Yeah! I don’t know why we have them…
Vassar College
Poughkeepsie, New York
When You Live in Your Parents’ Basement Apartment
Cashier: Birdseed, one lemon, a bottle of toilet bowl cleanser, and a package of bacon?
Stoned surfer dude: Yeah, man. It’s amazing how little you really need in life.
San Diego, California
Overheard by: Orion QP
Sung to the Tune of “Camptown Races”
Stoner girl: My camel toe looks like an angry clam!
Athens, Georgia
Overheard by: Huh?
Explosive Phosphorous Diarrhea Really Lights Up Public Transport
Stoned frat boy: That’s some illuminating shit!
Oakland-Pittsburgh
Pennsylvania
Overheard by: the girl in the front of the bus
