Stoner #1: Do you have telekinesis?
Stoner #2: No, but I got call-waiting and that three-way call thing.
McDonald’s
Escondido, California
Overheard by: DLo
Stoner #1: Do you have telekinesis?
Stoner #2: No, but I got call-waiting and that three-way call thing.
McDonald’s
Escondido, California
Overheard by: DLo
Stoner: That’s like saying Jesus and Gandhi are the same. A Gandhi would be the cinnamon bun and Jesus would be the cinnabon.
100 Main Street
Cincinnati, Ohio
Girl: Don’t worry, I won’t be lonely tonight. I’ve got a date with a gravity bong.
Stoner guy: … That’s, like, the sweetest thing I’ve ever heard.
Sacramento, California
Overheard by: MeganMama
Stoner #1: The other day I saw this homeless guy, and I felt bad, and I had just bought a stack, so I gave him some weed. He was like: “Thank you very much.“
Stoner #2: Are you serious?
Stoner #1: Yeah. I don’t care what anybody says, that was the most down shit ever. I fucking love bums.
Chino, California
Stoned frat boy: I have this aversion with talking to dentists… or really anyone who wants to help me with my general health.
SUNY Geneseo
New York
Overheard by: Jeni
Stoner #1: … And it burned the whole way down! Seriously, I think my throat hemorrhaged.
Stoner #2: Well at least you didn’t eat nine bowls of pudding.
Kansas State University, Manhattan
Overheard by: I wish I heard the beginning…
Stoned guy: Stairs are really dangerous!
Stoned girl: Yeah! I don’t know why we have them…
Vassar College
Poughkeepsie, New York
Cashier: Birdseed, one lemon, a bottle of toilet bowl cleanser, and a package of bacon?
Stoned surfer dude: Yeah, man. It’s amazing how little you really need in life.
San Diego, California
Overheard by: Orion QP
Stoner girl: My camel toe looks like an angry clam!
Athens, Georgia
Overheard by: Huh?
Stoned frat boy: That’s some illuminating shit!
Oakland-Pittsburgh
Pennsylvania
Overheard by: the girl in the front of the bus
Hat Tip 🎩 to The Marketing Scientist