Mom to daughter, wandering off: No, come back here, I don't want to lose you in the store. I already lost one of my kids that way, and that's enough.
Dollar Store
Sept-Îles
Canadia
Archive for the ‘Stores’ Category
He'll Be Disappointed When He Learns It Has Nothing to Do With Guns
Youngish mom, enthusiastic: I need shot glasses for work!
Eight-year-old son, excited: I want a shot glass!!
Gift Shop
Branson, Missouri
Would You Mind Taking a Picture Of Us With It?
[A young woman in a wetsuit and a young man in normal clothing are standing near the packaged meats.]Female employee: Can I help you with anything?
Young woman: Oh, no thanks, we’re just admiring the bacon.
Female employee: Oh. Okay! Have a nice day!
Vons
Ventura, California
That Carmen Miranda Costume Will Be Done in No Time!
Woman on cell: Slowly… over the next week… add a fruit.
Barnes & Noble
St. Louis, Missouri
Is That a Lip-Liner and EpiPen in One?
Hottie: Here ya go — put this in your man-purse for me, please.
Indie boyfriend, indignantly: It’s not a man-purse! It’s a medical evac bag!
Hottie: Okay. You got any bandages or sterile alcohol in there?
Indie boyfriend: … No.
Hottie: Yeah, right — it’s a man-purse. [Guy sullenly puts item in bag.]
Target, Saint Matthews
Louisville, Kentucky
Glittery Leopard Print? We'd Say So
Girl in fitting room: These leggings are totally going to ruin my karma.
Forever 21
Los Angeles, California
Overheard by: lisa
Portrait of the Social Worker As a Young Girl
Eight-year-old girl standing on shopping carriage to mother 15 feet away: Do not leave your child unattended! (slight pause) Mom! Get over here!
Wal-Mart
Seabrook, New Hampshire
Overheard by: Amanda
That’s What You Said About Spiral Notebooks!
Young girl, spraying perfume: These smell yucky. Who actually buys these, Mom?
Mom: Put those down. Those are for prostitutes.
Macy’s
St. Paul, Minnesota
Overheard by: ChasingDori
Well, It Was New to Us.
Boyfriend, to girlfriend who has just ripped ass: Ugh! Baby! No, don't just walk away and leave me standing here, you can't just crop dust like that!
Target
Overland Park, Kansas
But I'm Currently Putting David Hasselhoff Through a Rigorous Mentorship Program
Elderly Italian lady to store clerk, while judging jugs of wine: I'm the last of the great drinkers.
Liquor Store
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: Steve