Archive for the ‘Stores’ Category

Hard to Imagine You Two Have Time to Read

(40-something man was hitting on young clerk when his wife comes up)
Man: I honestly think man wasn't meant to be faithful. We're all so sexual.
Wife: Did you forget I was here?
Man: I'll be in the car in a second.
(she leaves store)
Man, after looking back at clerk: Please. She loves getting pimped out to my friends.

Bookstore
Ocala, Florida

Crazy Like a Bunny

Older woman, picking up a bag of peppermints: I still have candy corn out from Halloween. Is it okay to have peppermints and candy corn out at the same time?
Younger woman: What do I look like, Miss Manners? You've been to my house…you know there's still Easter candy out in my candy dishes. And until that goes, I'm not putting anything else out.
Older woman: Now I understand why your children are crazy.

Grocery Store
Hamilton, New Jersey

Overheard by: Currrly!

Steve Miller: “Same Here.”

Girl: How do you choose a good peach?
Guy: I go with whichever would make the prettiest vagina. Seems to work pretty well.

Produce Market
Tampa, Florida

Overheard by: Dr. Banana Grabber