Archive for the ‘Stores’ Category

This Season’s Most Unlikely Love Story

Girl, looking at video games: If I had a sword that pimp, I would just kill people all day and run around.
Boy following her: Girl, if you had a sword that pimp I would stop being gay and make you stop to make love to me.
Girl, looking appalled: I’d be busy killing people, though.
Boy, matter-of-factly: Well… I’d make you stop every thirteen kills.

Random Walmart
Boise, Idaho

Overheard by: Bunnee

Just Start Fires

Three-year-old girl: Can I open this?
Dad: No. There are two hundred and fifty matches in there, and they’re going to fall all over the place.
Three-year-old girl: But I promise I won’t eat them.

Harvest Co-Op
Cambridge, Massachusetts

Hard to Imagine You Two Have Time to Read

(40-something man was hitting on young clerk when his wife comes up)
Man: I honestly think man wasn't meant to be faithful. We're all so sexual.
Wife: Did you forget I was here?
Man: I'll be in the car in a second.
(she leaves store)
Man, after looking back at clerk: Please. She loves getting pimped out to my friends.

Bookstore
Ocala, Florida

Crazy Like a Bunny

Older woman, picking up a bag of peppermints: I still have candy corn out from Halloween. Is it okay to have peppermints and candy corn out at the same time?
Younger woman: What do I look like, Miss Manners? You've been to my house…you know there's still Easter candy out in my candy dishes. And until that goes, I'm not putting anything else out.
Older woman: Now I understand why your children are crazy.

Grocery Store
Hamilton, New Jersey

Overheard by: Currrly!