When Aunt Jemi­ma Eats Bur­ri­tos, Every­one Knows It.

Church­go­er to an­oth­er: Did you fart? Some­thing smells like but­ter­milk.

Methodist Church
Knoxville, Ten­nessee

Over­heard by: Nick

She Al­so Won­dered This Through­out The Sound Of Mu­sic

Fash­ion­able girl to singing man on bi­cy­cle: Ex­cuse me, are you men­tal­ly ill or just mu­si­cal­ly in­clined?

Düs­sel­dorf
Ger­many

Over­heard by: An­ja Schwalm

…And He Let Me Touch His Mal­lard?

Girl: Hey, what about that time we went duck hunt­ing naked and…
Ran­dom passer­by: That sounds like fun!

George­town
Wash­ing­ton, DC

There’s Nev­er a Truce in the Trench War­fare Be­tween the Sex­es

Old­er la­dy to com­plete strangers: So the last guy I dat­ed, all he want­ed was sex! We were on the beach and we passed a trench, and he was like “I’ll put you in that hole!”

Es­con­di­do, Cal­i­for­nia

I Did­n’t Drop the Oth­er One on the Floor

Dude, ap­proach­ing ta­ble of peo­ple: Ex­cuse me? Hi, I no­ticed you put your sal­ad in the mi­crowave, and I was just won­der­ing… Why?
Asian guy: Why not?
Dude: Well, it’s just… you had two… And you did­n’t put the oth­er one in… I have to know!

http://overheardatcornell.blogspot.com/2007/02/monday-madness.html

Over­heard by: a’­da

They Dis­agree on What “City of Broth­er­ly Love” Re­al­ly Means

Scene guy: Come back! I want a hug!
Guy quick­ly leav­ing on bi­cy­cle: Eat my shit!
Scene guy: I want my hug!
Guy quick­ly leav­ing on bi­cy­cle: Eat my shit!

22nd and Chest­nut Street
Philadel­phia, Penn­syl­va­nia

Over­heard by: cat­ty

Ne­ces­si­ty Is the Moth­er of Wa­ter-Bot­tle Bongs

Leader of group of ner­vous teens: Hey, do you sell rolling pa­pers here… for to­bac­co?
Con­ve­nience store clerk: Sor­ry, man. We’ve on­ly got ones for pot.

Noland Road
In­de­pen­dence, Mis­souri

Over­heard by: snick­er­ing cus­tomer be­hind them

I’ll Stick to My Pla­cen­ta Face-Cream, Thank You Very Much

Male wed­ding-go­er to fe­male wed­ding-go­er: Oh, you guys work here? Ex­cel­lent! My sis­ter’s hus­band, oh, I mean my broth­er-in-law, sells se­men. Bull se­men.

http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/overheardinminneapolis/~3/367412831/you-know-in-case-youre-in-the-market.html

Over­heard by: best pick-up line ever

Re­lax– That Just Means It Likes You

(strange loud sound comes from the plane)
Calm but con­fused flight at­ten­dant: That’s weird, I’ve nev­er heard that be­fore.
Freaked out pas­sen­ger: Um, ex­cuse me? What?!

Flight to Can­cun, Mex­i­co

If Charles Dick­ens Had Gone to Col­lege in Flori­da

Girl: It was a land of choco­late and a land of Lego. It was glo­ri­ous.
Ran­dom guy, walk­ing by: Glo­ri­ous!

Uni­ver­si­ty of Cen­tral Flori­da