Archive for the ‘Strangers’ Category

Lib­er­als Can’t Be­lieve That Some Plagues Cure Them­selves

Lib­er­al #1: Cut off her head!
Lib­er­al #2: No! Then she would­n’t feel any of the pain!
Lib­er­al #1: Yeah, you’re right… I sup­pose you could cut her head off half-way…
Passer­by: Um, I don’t mean to in­ter­rupt, but, um, what are you talk­ing about?
Lib­er­al #1: How to kill Ann Coul­ter.
Lib­er­al #2: Is that bad?
Passer­by: Oh, no, con­tin­ue! By all means, please!

Af­ter con­cert at Hol­ly­wood Bowl
Hol­ly­wood, Cal­i­for­nia

Over­heard by: Arg­onath

We Bet­ter Have to Swim Through Her Blood When We Dis­em­bark

Metro an­nounce­ment: The Red Line is ex­pe­ri­enc­ing de­lays due to a sick cus­tomer at Far­ragut North… Trains will share tracks at Gallery Place and Metro Cen­ter.
Man on metro: How sick was this cus­tomer?
Woman on metro: She bet­ter be dead, I’ll tell you that.

Wash­ing­ton, DC

Over­heard by: jposkin

Was­n’t That a Su­per Smash Broth­ers Char­ac­ter?

20-ish girl #1: Yeah, I was called ‘Sweet Pea’ all the time when I was lit­tle.
20-ish girl #2: To this day my dad calls me ‘Peanut.‘
Fat la­dy near­by, to no one: Yeah, I got a nick­name, too. They call me ‘Jig­gly Puff.’

Palm Beach Gar­dens, Flori­da

Over­heard by: I can’t imag­ine why.

Just Your Coun­try

Char­i­ty guy: Hel­lo there. I’m Aus­tralian, and I’m giv­ing out free hugs.
Girl: Okay then [hugs him].
Char­i­ty guy: What about your friends here?
Girl: Oh, they’re Ger­man. They don’t want hugs.


It’d Be a Match Made in Heav­en If She’d On­ly Stop Steal­ing My Watch

Girl: Who are you dat­ing now?
Guy: I don’t know if you’d call it dat­ing, but I met a strip­per that comes over around mid­night, gets me high, sucks my dick, we fuck, I fall asleep and when I wake up, she’s gone.
Ran­dom eaves­drop­per: Dude, mar­ry that bitch!

Open Bar
San Diego, Cal­i­for­nia