Professor: I just think of this class as 40 days in a row and then it’s over. Like the Jews in Egypt.
Student: It was 40 years.
Professor: 40 years, 40 days. Same difference.
Northeastern University
Boston, Massachusetts
Archive for the ‘Students’ Category
Trust Me– I Gave Derek His First Blow Job.
Sophomore girl #1: Did you hear Matt and Derek are going out now?
Sophomore girl #2: No way! I totally gave Matt his first blow job. He can’t be gay! (pauses) Oh my god! Do you think I turned him gay?
Passing junior guy: Yeah, that’d do it.
High School
Annapolis, Maryland
Finally Got That Aerosmith Roadie Gig?
Roomie #1: I wonder what ever happened to James*. I mean, we haven’t seen him since fifth grade. I hope he’s not in a mental home or something — him and his weird mom. Maybe he’s finally doing what he’s always wanted to do: work with dinosaurs.
Roomie #2: Yeah, or living with them.
Roomie #1: That is sooo true.
Montclair State University
Montclair, New Jersey
Overheard by: i love dinosaurs
Clay Aiken?
Student: I have that song “Ring My Bell” in my head.
Advisor #1: The one by Diana Ross.
Student: I think so.
Advisor #2, from adjacent cube: It’s not Diana Ross.
Advisor #1: Well, who is it?
Advisor #2: I don’t know, but not Diana Ross.
Student: And that song “In the Navy.“
Advisor #2: That’s not Diana Ross either. Just as gay, but not Diana Ross.
El Paso, Texas
Overheard by: Disco Dan
In Fact, They Probably Prefer It.
Chick in hoodie: I think they prefer to be called “little people.“
Preppy guy: When you’re hiring them for a sex act I’m pretty sure it’s okay to call them midgets.
Landmark Diner
Port Washington, New York
Overheard by: Hunter (aka
…If You Know What I Mean…
Student to friend: When she painted the banana, or vice-versa.
Colby-Sawyer College
New Hampshire
Overheard by: J.McC
One Which Perhaps the Parrot Can Answer.
Female student to another: So, are you a pirate or a ninja?
Teacher: That’s a great question!
Brisbane
Australia
Overheard by: I took a test and I’m both.
I Think I Read That in the Bible
Teacher: You can use stethoscopes to listen to water in trees. You should listen to thin trees and trees with less bark.
Student: Should it be hardwood or softwood?
Teacher: Softwood. You can’t beat softwood.
Classroom
Alexandria, Virginia
That Thing Almost Took Off My Hand Last Time
Student #1: Jess, come here. I need your help.
Student #2: I am not touching your cooter again.
Smith College
Northampton, Massachusetts
What the Song “Twist and Shout” Really Means
Dining hall worker: When I got my nipples pierced I had an orgasm when the guy was doing the left one.
Student: Really? How did that happen?
Dining hall worker: When he clamped it I just told him to keep twisting that shit, and 20 minutes later I had an orgasm. It was a little Chinese man who did it…I bet his little uncircumcised dick was all bonered out and shit.
overheardatyale.com
Overheard by: overheardatyale
