Professor: What does 95% confidence mean?
Weird kid: It means there are 95 parallel universes between the values!
Professor: Well I don't know about that.
Kalamazoo, Michigan
Archive for the ‘Students’ Category
You Can't Shame Me Into the Army
College guy: I'm scared!
College girl: Just do it!
College guy: No, I'm scared!
College girl: Be a man!
College guy: I don't wanna!
Salisbury, Maryland
I Just Want to Graduate, I Don't Want to Know Anything
Undergrad on cell: And the paper has to be, like, 10 to 12 pages long! (pause) I know! I'm like, “I'm not writing my freaking thesis here!”
Bus
Minneapolis, Minnesota
The Large Group Ones Are a Logistical Nightmare
Peer-taught health class leader: Small group condom practice! Wooot!
Eugene, Oregon
Overheard by: nyssa
It's Even Worse in Chicago.
8th grade health teacher, answering why you can't put a condom on when you're not erect: So…um, when it's not hard, it's just like there, you know, flapping in the wind…
Silver Spring, Maryland
Overheard by: nice thought…
Case in Point
Student: Well, sometimes you ask questions that have answers that might not be the answer you are looking for!
Professor: Are you calling me fat?
Michigan State University, Michigan
I Didn’t Know They Made Thongs That Big
Male student: So, how’s your new roommate?
Female student: Well, she has one hundred thirty-three thongs.
Male student: She sounds like a horrible person.
Maryland Institute College of Art
Baltimore, Maryland
And What Kind Of a Lame-Ass Answer Is “Energy”?
Tutor: So what are some things you associate with lemons?
Student #1: Yellow!
Student #2: Energy!
Student #3: Gin-an-tonic!
Tutor: What? Genitalia? Who said genitalia?
Massey University
Wellington
New Zealand
A+
Male art student in response to female art student’s sculpture: It’s really kind of mortifyingly vaginal.
Allegheny College
Meadville Pennsylvania
How'd You Know?!
Student: I was wondering what my grade is.
Instructor (after consulting grade book): You have 312 points out of 500.
Student: So that's like, what, a “b?”
Instructor: Are you failing math too?
MCCKC
Independence, Missouri
Overheard by: Not failing math