Student: Professor, can you repeat that question?
Professor: I can’t remember! I just make this shit up.
American University
Washington, DC
Archive for the ‘Students’ Category
Taught Me the “White Elephant”
College guy: I went to sleep-away camp so long ago my counselor was Jesus Christ!
University of Rochester
Rochester, New York
Nine Months Later, I Had You.
Student: So then I turned round and there was a snake in my bacon!
Birchwood Community High School
Warrington
England
I Couldn’t Help It– I Kept Shining a Strobe Light on Him.
College girl to three friends, completely serious: Yeah, I guess his penis had epilepsy or something.
College Dining Hall
Pennsylvania
All Teachers Want Is to Fit in
Student: Hey bruh, can I ansuh?!
Teacher: Yeah, sure… Wait, what did you call me?
Student: Bruh?
Teacher, grining: That made my day!
Nashville, Tennessee
Me and My Cocaine Fork Will Be Just Fine
Girl: But I’m graduating soon, so I don’t need spoons anymore!
Montclair State University
New Jersey
…The Fifth Being My Blackberry.
Student selling pink ribbon bracelets: Professor, would you like to buy some bracelets? They’re for a good cause.
Professor: Sure, I’ll take five. One for each appendage.
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Larry Is a Girl?
College student #1: Larry’s rug is a trap!
College student #2: Her rug has a penis?
Portland, Oregon
Overheard by: Larissa
…Ahem, “Sylbs”
Female college student: Yeah, I tod did that too!
Guy college student: Did you just say “tod” instead of “totally”?
Female college student: Yeah, I never say any words that are more than two syllables!
College
Ontario
Canadia
Overheard by: Cat
And the Duke Lacrosse Party Only Got Better
Sophomore #1: [Whispering.]Sophomore #2: Oh, dude! She is hot!
Sophomore #1: [Inaudible.]Sophomore #2: I would so fuck her!
Sophomore #1: [Inaudible.]Sophomore #2: Dude, I so would fuck her. Like, fuck her up the ass.
Mt. Tabor High School
North Carolina
Overheard by: eating lunch.
