Archive for the ‘Stupidity’ Category

From the Run­away Best-Sell­er Is My Child Goth?

Moth­er to two laugh­ing chil­dren run­ning down side­walk: Get back here! Hold her hand! Get back here right this in­stant! [Catch­es them and grabs their hands, pulling them back to­wards their house, point­ing at a near­by car.] That car is sit­ting there. What if that man would have backed out and hit you?! What if he could­n’t have seen you? What then?
Four-year old boy: Then hooray! Hooray!

Los An­ge­les, Cal­i­for­nia

You Mean, Like, Jer­sey Shore?

Ma­rine with no game to clear­ly un­in­ter­est­ed sales clerk: And we marines say “sem­per fi” to each oth­er, do you know what that means?
Sales girl: Yeah, it…
Ma­rine, in­ter­rupt­ing: It means “al­ways faith­ful.” It’s like Russ­ian or some shit… No. Maybe Ital­ian… Yeah, it’s Ital­ian.

Mall
Birm­ing­ham, Al­aba­ma

You’d Think There’d Be a Train

Cana­di­an girl #1 to tour op­er­a­tor: Where can we do tours of Auschwitz?
Tour op­er­a­tor: Um, well, Auschwitz is in Poland, so…
Cana­di­an girl #2: No, but we mean the one the Ger­mans set up for the war. The Ger­man one.
Tour op­er­a­tor: Yes, I un­der­stand, but they set it up in Poland.
Cana­di­an girl #1, af­ter pause: Are you sure? We came to Berlin just to see it.

Berlin
Ger­many

Over­heard by: Jit

Imag­ine That.

Smokin’ hot Fil­ip­ina girl­friend: My friend said that I should use Pho­to­shop and imag­i­na­tion to do this. I have Pho­to­shop, but where can I get imag­i­na­tion? I’ve nev­er heard of it.
White boyfriend: You’re kid­ding me, right?
Smokin’ hot Fil­ip­ina girl­friend: What?
White boyfriend: There is no soft­ware called “imag­i­na­tion.” Just use your imag­i­na­tion. Duh!
Smokin’ hot Fil­ip­ina girl­friend: You’re so not get­ting a blowjob tonight.

Toron­to
Cana­dia

Over­heard by: The white boyfriend

So “Lehman” Is Out?

Big-haired moth­er to friends: I like what Sarah Palin did with her kids’ names. I mean, I want to give my kids names that are cool, but noth­ing that would, you know, pre­vent them from be­ing busi­ness ma­jors.

San An­to­nio, Texas

Over­heard by: An East Coast Elit­ist

Let’s Keep Do­ing Shots Un­til It Does

Drunk girl: Oh my god, how can you be wear­ing a t‑shirt right now? It’s so cold out­side!
Bounc­er: I love the cold. In fact, I have the air con­di­tion­ing on in my apart­ment right now.
Drunk girl: Wow, so, what are you? Like, from Flori­da or some­thing?
Bounc­er: No… That does­n’t make any sense.

Wash­ing­ton Street
Brighton, Mass­a­chu­setts

Over­heard by: Pa­tron