Archive for the ‘Tattoos’ Category

Wait, an Outline, or Solid Shaded?

Girl: I bet he would.
Friend: No, he wouldn’t.
Girl: I’ll call him now. [Dials] Hey, honey. Quick question: if I had a tattoo of a dick on the inside of my thigh about half an inch away from my pussy, would you lick it? [Pause] No. I said ‘if’… Well, no, I’m not saying it’s totally out of the question… Fine. We’ll talk about it when I get home. [To friend] See? I told you he would!

Bus stop
Chicago, Illinois

Overheard by: Dana

Clap If You Believe She’ll Regret This

Female student #1: What does your tattoo mean?
Female student #2: Courage.
Female student #1: I want to get a tattoo!
Female student #2: What do you want to get?
Female student #1: Across my back I want a fairy… wearing lingerie.
Female student #2: Oh… Okay… That would be nice…

Houston Community College
Houston, Texas

Wow. Suddenly I Loathe Myself.

Client: So, how will we work it out if I want a custom tattoo designed?
Tattoo artist: Have you ever been shopping with your girlfriend where you just sort of follow her around for a while and point stuff out until you figure out what she wants?
Client: Yeah…
Tattoo artist: It’s just like that, except you’re the girlfriend.

Americana Tattoo Parlor
Augusta, Georgia

Overheard by: Clarissa St. Tacocrotch