Archive for the ‘Tattoos’ Category

But All You Re­al­ly Need Is Some Con­ceal­er and a Dream

Girl #1: So when is that thing you guys are do­ing?
Girl #2: Oh my god! You have to go! We’re all go­ing to get naked and walk around cam­pus all day.
Girl #1: I hon­est­ly would, but I have tat­toos in some re­al­ly un­con­ven­tion­al places.
Girl #2: Oh, I un­der­stand to­tal­ly.

Chem Lab, William and Mary
Williams­burg, Vir­ginia

Clap If You Be­lieve She’ll Re­gret This

Fe­male stu­dent #1: What does your tat­too mean?
Fe­male stu­dent #2: Courage.
Fe­male stu­dent #1: I want to get a tat­too!
Fe­male stu­dent #2: What do you want to get?
Fe­male stu­dent #1: Across my back I want a fairy… wear­ing lin­gerie.
Fe­male stu­dent #2: Oh… Okay… That would be nice…

Hous­ton Com­mu­ni­ty Col­lege
Hous­ton, Texas

Wait, an Out­line, or Sol­id Shad­ed?

Girl: I bet he would.
Friend: No, he would­n’t.
Girl: I’ll call him now. [Di­als] Hey, hon­ey. Quick ques­tion: if I had a tat­too of a dick on the in­side of my thigh about half an inch away from my pussy, would you lick it? [Pause] No. I said ‘if’… Well, no, I’m not say­ing it’s to­tal­ly out of the ques­tion… Fine. We’ll talk about it when I get home. [To friend] See? I told you he would!

Bus stop
Chica­go, Illi­nois

Over­heard by: Dana

Wow. Sud­den­ly I Loathe My­self.

Client: So, how will we work it out if I want a cus­tom tat­too de­signed?
Tat­too artist: Have you ever been shop­ping with your girl­friend where you just sort of fol­low her around for a while and point stuff out un­til you fig­ure out what she wants?
Client: Yeah…
Tat­too artist: It’s just like that, ex­cept you’re the girl­friend.

Amer­i­cana Tat­too Par­lor
Au­gus­ta, Geor­gia

Over­heard by: Claris­sa St. Tacocrotch

So Any­way, Wel­come to Cougar Lit 101

Fe­male Eng­lish pro­fes­sor on the first day of class: So tell me as much about me as you can by my ap­pear­ance. What kind of per­son do you think I am?
Stu­dent: I think you were prob­a­bly a wild teenag­er. You’ve got a tat­too and a tongue pierc­ing.
Fe­male Eng­lish pro­fes­sor (chuck­ling): I’ve got more tat­toos and pierc­ings than you care to know about.

Com­mu­ni­ty Col­lege
Eliz­a­beth­town, Ken­tucky

Over­heard by: Chelsea