And I Stopped Lis­ten­ing to My­self Years Ago

Stu­dent: Pro­fes­sor, can you re­peat that ques­tion?
Pro­fes­sor: I can’t re­mem­ber! I just make this shit up.

Amer­i­can Uni­ver­si­ty
Wash­ing­ton, DC

Guess Some­body Wants to Go to Col­lege

Teacher to chat­ty class: Every­one, qui­et, we have to go over this!
(class con­tin­ues chat­ting)
Guy in the back: I will kill you all.
(class falls silent)

High School
Chesa­peake, Vir­ginia

All Teach­ers Want Is to Fit in

Stu­dent: Hey bruh, can I an­suh?!
Teacher: Yeah, sure… Wait, what did you call me?
Stu­dent: Bruh?
Teacher, grin­ing: That made my day!

Nashville, Ten­nessee

Her “Ex­tra Help Ses­sions” Are Well-At­tend­ed

LSAT in­struc­tor: So, these fe­male sage grouse do a vi­su­al in­spec­tion to make sure the males don’t have an in­fec­tion be­fore mat­ing. If I had the same at­ten­tion to de­tail, maybe I would­n’t have got­ten chlamy­dia three times.

Ft. Worth, Texas

Over­heard by: Not So Hot For Teacher

When Col­lege Ear­ly Ad­mis­sion Goes Too Far

Psy­chol­o­gy pro­fes­sor, dis­cussing ba­bies: If this thing did­n’t smile, it would be in the trash.

Rut­gers Uni­ver­si­ty
New Brunswick, New Jer­sey

God­damn Lung­fish!

Prop­er­ty pro­fes­sor: They’re on­ly on the land about 25 days a year, and they get full pos­ses­sion? ‘What the fuck?!’ as they say!

http://overheardinlawschool.blogspot.com/

Over­heard by: sa

…the Last Time I Was Tru­ly Hap­py.

Sexy base­ball coach: I was shoot­ing pheas­ants, naked, in Boise, Ida­ho.

Co­lum­bia, South Car­oli­na

Over­heard by: Say­what?!

On the In­tel­lec­tu­al Ver­sion Of Dou­ble Dare

Pro­fes­sor: They were play­ing the Rocky theme song while I was try­ing to think great thoughts.

Mc­Daniel Col­lege, Mary­land

Mar­i­jua­na Would­n’t Be Any Fun With­out It.

His­to­ry pro­fes­sor: In New York the ex­it signs are red. They’re like, “Fire! Get out!” In Cal­i­for­nia the ex­it signs are green. They’re like, “Dude, if you wan­na get out, cool. If you like fire, if that’s your thing, that’s okay, too.”

Au­ro­ra, Illi­nois

…A Metaphor I Would Know Noth­ing About

Pro­fes­sor: The Gov­ern­ment was spend­ing mon­ey like a drunk­en sailor in a Ti­jua­na whore­house.

Macro­eco­nom­ics Class
Uni­ver­si­ty of Cal­i­for­nia

Over­heard by: Econo­met­ri­cal­ly Bored