Spanish teacher: “Corona” means “crown,” but mainly it means “Corona.”
High School
Calgary
Canadia
Archive for the ‘Teachers’ Category
…Penis.
Professor: I can assume people don’t walk on their hands, but some people might do it to fool me, because I have a robot.
George Mason University
Fairfax County, Virginia
Overheard by: NoRobot
So I Went With French Nails and I Never Looked Back
Professor: And so then after he killed the beast he went and bathed because there was dirt under his fingernails and a civilized man never has dirty fingernails… (pauses) My first girlfriend dumped me for dirty fingernails.
York University
Toronto
Canadia
Overheard by: Student
And We’re Glad You Did.
(professor starts to write on the board. The chalk breaks. Class laughs. Professor turns around and bumps into the desk. Class laughs harder)
Professor: Shut up! Shut up and listen to me! I am teaching you things and being enthusiastic! …much as I dislike each and every one of you!
Student: Oh man, I am so writing that down.
SUNY Potsdam
New York
Overheard by: minibab
I Plan to Stop Smoking Just Before That
Professor: Do we know if marijuana has any long-term effects?
Male student: Ball cancer.
Western Michigan University
Overheard by: H
Only Lightly Misting on Shirtless, Muscley Ones
British lit professor, on gays: I have honestly never seen it rain on a gay person. Never. Not once in my life.
Georgia State Lit Class
It’s All Fun and Games ’til Somebody Pokes a Baby Out
Loud eighth grader: Michael’s such a douche, all he wants to do is get in my pants.
Even louder teacher: You’re in eighth grade, you shouldn’t be letting anybody in your pants!
Potomac, Maryland
Overheard by: Math is my new favorite subject…
If Your Eyes Are Closed, I Assume You’re Imagining Another Professor
Professor: I try to say the word “sex” at least two or three times a class to wake people up.
http://www.overheardatumbc.com
It Concerns Me When You Talk About Yourself in the Third Person, Mrs. Smith
Old teacher, about middle school student: Johnny’s fine until he has an audience. Then he gets all gang-bangy and tries to screw Mrs. Smith.
Young teacher: Please don’t ever say that again.
Restaurant
Redlands, California
Let’s Stick to First Abortions, Okay?
Professor: I want you to write about the first time you did something. It can be anything. The first time you rode a bike. The first time you made a baby. (awkward pause) Wait!
Syracuse University
New York
