Stoner #1: Do you have telekinesis?
Stoner #2: No, but I got call-waiting and that three-way call thing.
McDonald’s
Escondido, California
Overheard by: DLo
Archive for the ‘Technology’ Category
Imagine That.
Smokin’ hot Filipina girlfriend: My friend said that I should use Photoshop and imagination to do this. I have Photoshop, but where can I get imagination? I’ve never heard of it.
White boyfriend: You’re kidding me, right?
Smokin’ hot Filipina girlfriend: What?
White boyfriend: There is no software called “imagination.” Just use your imagination. Duh!
Smokin’ hot Filipina girlfriend: You’re so not getting a blowjob tonight.
Toronto
Canadia
Overheard by: The white boyfriend
How Mrs. Bisbee Made the ‘Naughty’ List
Mom: I don’t know what I should get for him. He likes video games and that kind of stuff. I got him a GameCube last year and he loves it.
Five-year-old child (looks away from game display, shocked): But you told me Santa got me the GameCube!
Best Buy
Seattle, Washington
When Lifetime Television Becomes a How-To
Girl #1: I was watching tv last night, and this girl was prostituting herself to pay for med school…
Girl #2: That is such a good idea!
UC Berkeley, California
Hope You Bitches Saved Me Some Weed
Mom: Why is the tv on with the mute on?
Daughter #1: Cause of the pretty moving pictures!
Daughter #2: Yeah! It’s like an aquarium, but with Tom Hanks.
Upper Hutt
New Zealand
Overheard by: Kat
They’ll Tell Us What to Do
Teen, hearing that IBM computer “Watson” is winning at Jeopardy: That makes me so happy! We have robot overlords!
Ithaca, New York
Every Time I Try That, I Lose Some Memory
Mom: Arrrrgh. My brain just isn’t working today!
Eight-year-old (deadpan): Did you try turning it off and on again?
Steveston
Canadia
Overheard by: laughing sangria out my nose
As His Sancho Panza
Girl: You should meet his dad! He’s like Don Quixote in a Kafka story.
Guy: Who’s father they were talking about…you know…but with a tv.
Sabiá bar, Vila Madalena
Sao Paulo, Brazil
Dude, Just Make an Audio-Visual Geek Your Friend
Music history professor, putting a CD in the player: And now we pray to the god of CDs. It’s not good to be a teacher with CDs. They are very stupid things. [Pause.] …It’s not good to be a teacher, perhaps that’s what it is.
Peabody Conservatory
Baltimore, Maryland
Sarah Really Knows How to Push Her Own Buttons.
Self-centered bimbo to another: I love texting myself, but I told myself: “let me see if I can hold off doing that til Sunday, to see if I can live alone.”
Mamaroneck, New York
