Teen, hearing that IBM computer “Watson” is winning at Jeopardy: That makes me so happy! We have robot overlords!
Ithaca, New York
Archive for the ‘Teens’ Category
I'm Pretty Sure Steve Urkel Had a Gas-Mask Bong
Teen girl: Mom, guess what he got me for an early Christmas present?
Mother: What, honey?
Teen girl: A gas-mask bong–like in that movie Knocked Up. And it's purple!
Mother: Jeez, your dork-o-meter is in the red.
MARTA Train
Atlanta, Georgia
'Cause Then I'd Be Playing Dungeons and Dragons with Myself
Teen comic book geek #1: It's a good thing you're not a figment of my imagination. That would just be awkward.
Teen comic book geek #2: Yeah, totally.
Bookman's
Phoenix, Arizona
Overheard by: adult comic book geek
Even Made-Up Countries, Like Norway.
Teen girl: I don’t know — it just seems like everyone’s in the Olympics now.
Vancouver, British Columbia
Canadia
Overheard by: snooper
When the Religious Right Goes Too Far
Teen #1: Did you know tumors can sometimes grow hair and teeth?
Teen #2, stunned: Um, those aren’t tumors. Th-those are babies.
Wild Thyme Restaurant
Queenstown
New Zealand
None Of Them Are Filtered
Teen gangsta wannabe yelling to small boy on playground: No, I wasn't, I don't smoke! He was just transferring the smoke to my mouth! (pause) Never mind! I'm not gay!
Park
Cincinnati, Ohio
I'm Gonna Ride This Science Project All the Way to Harvard
Enthusiastic teenager, waving hands emphatically: If you can deep throat a banana, you can suck a dick!
Tallahassee, Florida
Overheard by: If you can wax a car…
Why Undocumented Immigrant Surrogates Exist
Sloppily-dressed teen girl to another: Do you know how many new outfits I would have to buy to carry a baby around for nine months?
Sam Houston State University
Huntsville, Texas
The New Apartheid
Teen girl driving car: I'm turning left because I'm ugly.
New Zealand
Overheard by: passenger
Is Swamp Ass the Next Evolutionary Step? Discuss.
Teenage boy: Are you saying your asshole gets sweaty when I'm around?
Teenage girl: Exactly.
Northgate
Seattle, Washington
Overheard by: NotSoSuperMario