Party guy: Hey, you cut your hair.
Party girl: I had to.
Party guy: Why?
Party girl: Well, you threw up on it!
Party guy: Who cares if I threw up on it?
Party girl: I do!
Party guy: Oh. (walks off)
Austin, Texas
Archive for the ‘Texas’ Category
Her “Extra Help Sessions” Are Well-Attended
LSAT instructor: So, these female sage grouse do a visual inspection to make sure the males don’t have an infection before mating. If I had the same attention to detail, maybe I wouldn’t have gotten chlamydia three times.
Ft. Worth, Texas
Overheard by: Not So Hot For Teacher
Isn’t Saying “We’re Texas Lutherans” Sufficient?
Professor: Everyone who thinks it’s this answer jump up and say, “I’m brilliant!”
(nobody moves)
Professor: Everyone who thinks it’s this answer jump up and say, “I’m not so brilliant, yet.”
(nobody moves)
Professor: Everyone else jump up and say, “I’m inhibited!”
Organic Chemistry Class
Texas Lutheran University
Overheard by: Kimberly
Sounds Almost As Cool As Our Job.
Woman on cell: I’m coming to LA to make 100 Egyptian army uniforms, then I’m going back.
International Airport
El Paso, Texas
Overheard by: V
The Thin Line Between Martha Stewart and MTV Backup Dancers
Restaurant server on smoke break: How were the ladies at the bar?
Drunk man: Those bitches were hot. And I mean “bitches” in the best possible way.
Server: When I say “bitches,” I mean “hoes.”
Plano, Texas
Meet the Most Forgetful Woman in Dallas
Woman: I found the nipple! Crisis averted.
N. Bishop Avenue
Dallas, Texas
Overheard by: Faith
We’re Not Too Proud to Admit That We Snickered
Granddaughter: Is it wet?
Grandmother: Oh, believe me. It’s wet.
Waco, Texas
Overheard by: I need to get whatever they’re using.
On an Unrelated Note, Never Put Together a Lecture During Happy Hour
Professor: The French lords were so disbelieving. It was like your favorite puppy going ‘Rawr, rawr, rawr!’ and taking a chunk out of your arm — they were just like, ‘Huh? What?’
Burdine Hall, University of Texas
Austin, Texas
Overheard by: she actually growled
And Molded It Into the Shape Of a Little Man!
Girl #1: You know it really makes me sad that after all this time you still don’t appreciate my art.
Girl #2: That isn’t art, you found it in your underwear!
Amarillo, Texas
If One of Our Editors Doesn’t Beat You to It
Middle aged redneck to cute four-year-old girl: You’re just as sharp as your great granddaddy! You’re gonna grow up to write about public restrooms in America!
Gas Station
Waco, Texas
