Granddaughter: Is it wet?
Grandmother: Oh, believe me. It's wet.
Waco, Texas
Overheard by: I need to get whatever they're using.
Archive for the ‘Texas’ Category
On an Unrelated Note, Never Put Together a Lecture During Happy Hour
Professor: The French lords were so disbelieving. It was like your favorite puppy going ‘Rawr, rawr, rawr!’ and taking a chunk out of your arm — they were just like, ‘Huh? What?’
Burdine Hall, University of Texas
Austin, Texas
Overheard by: she actually growled
And Molded It Into the Shape Of a Little Man!
Girl #1: You know it really makes me sad that after all this time you still don't appreciate my art.
Girl #2: That isn't art, you found it in your underwear!
Amarillo, Texas
If One of Our Editors Doesn’t Beat You to It
Middle aged redneck to cute four-year-old girl: You’re just as sharp as your great granddaddy! You’re gonna grow up to write about public restrooms in America!
Gas Station
Waco, Texas
You're Just Supposed to Be Having Sex Shamefully in Cars and Stairwells
Boy: Yo soy sexy.
Teacher, hyperventilating: You can't say you're sexy! You're only fifteen years old!
Spanish Class
El Paso, Texas
…Whatever Your Name Is.
Very pregnant woman: I don't want to have this baby. I don't want to have to work all of this weight off.
Man: I think I should keep you pregnant. This is the least worst you've ever looked.
Hasting's
Wichita Falls, Texas
Overheard by: mikeface
Why Undocumented Immigrant Surrogates Exist
Sloppily-dressed teen girl to another: Do you know how many new outfits I would have to buy to carry a baby around for nine months?
Sam Houston State University
Huntsville, Texas
Some People Just Look Better with Misshapen Skulls
Guy #1 (after guy #2 leaves): Man, I hate him so much.
Girl: What? Why?
Guy #1: Ever since he fell out that window and almost died and shit, girls have been all over him. He's a goddam womanizer.
Girl: He is pretty cute.
Houston, Texas
Buy Me a Pony and I'll Throw in the Windshield
Little girl sitting in shopping cart to mother: I love you more than the car! That's a lot,right, mommy? (thinks a while) More than the lights, too!
Wal-Mart
Weslaco,Texas
Overheard by: I love Mommy too
I’m Sorry I Ever Chose to Study The Necronomicon
Guy going to study for finals: I’m kinda scared to sit in a cubicle alone… by myself… Alone with my thoughts. Not good.
PCL Library
University of Texas at Austin