Archive for the ‘Texas’ Category

The Ones I Do Have Thankfully Have Easy-to-Remember 1–900 Numbers

Salesman to guy purchasing new phone: Yeah, we can totally transfer all your contacts and calendar and stuff to this new phone.
Guy (in English accent): Well, can you do that on this other model?
Salesman: No, you can’t transfer your contacts from your old one to this model.
Guy (in English accent): Oh, that doesn’t matter. I don’t have any friends.

Austin, Texas

Cracked Rear View

Woman #1: Hey, you look good.
Woman #2: Thanks! I’ve been working out… Wanna feel my ass? [Protrudes her rear.] 

Arlington, Texas

Overheard by: AmadeusMaxwell

The Correct Answer: Whatever You Want — I Love You

Woman: I told you, I will not use Downy fabric softener ever again. Pick something else!
Boyfriend: What? ‘Cause it says ‘April Fresh’? Oh, come on!
Woman: I don’t want anything with your ex-girlfriend’s name on it. I’m not gonna be reminded of April every damn time I do laundry.

Big 8 Grocery Store
El Paso, Texas