Teenage girl to friend, giggling: So then she said she was going to put diarrhea on my face!
Toronto
Canadia
Archive for the ‘Threats’ Category
I’m Unfamiliar With That Game
Preschool boy: Can I play with you?
Preschool girl: Come near me and I’ll stab you.
Playground
New South Wales
Australia
Overheard by: courtney
How Prince Charming Ended Up with a Glass Slipper Up His Ass
Ghetto chick: It’s 10 minutes to midnight — I’m ’bout to turn into a bitch.
Magic Stick
Detroit, Michigan
Overheard by: Swells
Um, That’s Just Beer, Sweetie.
Boy, screaming into pregnant mother’s belly: We’re going to give you up for adoption!
Tanger Outlet
Riverhead, New York
Overheard by: bemused
Some Children Don’t Blend Well
Little girl to friend: You little… Butter, I’m going to whip you up until you smell like rotten juice!
Park Playground
Tacoma, Washington
…Prematurely
Overweight mom, walking away from grave, to young sons: If you don’t start behaving, you are going to be buried here.
Arlington National Cemetery
Arlington, Virginia
Not the Demographic to Fear in Colorado
Girl #1: Why does Denzel Washington with a gun freak me out?
Girl #2: Because he’s black.
Movie Theater
Colorado
Everybody Respects a Gentleman Bandit
Professor: I could go to Mark*, for example, and say, “hey, you have to do this or I’m going to shoot you.” (to Mark*) Uh, sorry.
Mark*: Well, at least you’re polite about it.
Emerson College
Boston, Massachusetts
Overheard by: S.m. Torres
But Not a Real Green Dress –That’s Cruel
Girl on phone: I’ll go on MySpace and look until I die for a picture of you in a ugly green dress!
Orlando Ale House
Orlando, Florida
The Heaven Entrance Exam Is Teeming With Poetry Questions
Teacher (about poetry assignment): Some of you did a good job and wrote some wonderful things. Some of you just did the assignment. Some of you haven’t even turned it in. Those people are going to hell.
TJHSST
Alexandria, Virginia
