Girl, wearing leather pants and high heels, pushing a cart containing D batteries, duct tape, and huge bag of rice, on cell: I don’t know why he’s so smug, I told him what I would do to him if I caught him again. [pause] Okay, well I’ve almost got everything I need, I’ll be right over.
Wal-Mart
Lufkin, Texas
Overheard by: wtf?
Trashy mom trying to get toddler to leave an animal exhibit: Get over here or I’ll whop your butt!
(five seconds later) And give me back my lighter!
Woodland Park Zoo
Seattle, Washington
Overheard by: Jenster
(five-year-old girl tries to hit puppy with a toy)
Step-mom: I’m gonna hit you with that toy.
Five-year-old girl: How hard?
Fresno, California
Seven-year-old little boy staring at a little old lady with white hair: You’re going to die!
Hilander
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: Koosa
Mother to daughter: I swear, next time you’re going to smack your mouth on something and I’m just going to move you to the side and leave you there and watch the blood run down.
On Line for Space Mountain
Disney World, Florida
Overheard by: Kat
English professor: Outer space is occupied by evil orientals.
Marymount University
Arlington, Virginia
Overheard by: Sarah Yvonne
Flustered mother to screaming toddler: Stop that shouting, or I'll be sick on you!
(toddler shuts up abruptly)
Leeds
England
Overheard by: Magpie
Angry mother on the bus: Come here and sit down!
Four-year-old: No, it’s okay. I’m being good.
Angry mother: This bus is going to stop suddenly and you’re going to fall down and crack your head open on one of the bars, and before the bus gets back around to the hospital you will bleed to death!
Pullman, Washington
Overheard by: jeff
Sensitive soul: Why would I fuck you if you have a rash?
Dining Hall, Stony Brook University
Stony Brook, New York
Overheard by: Slightly amused but scared
Ten-year-old boy to another: Yeah, I told my sister that if she kept it up, she'd end up in Mexico with her panties off.
Charleston, South Carolina
Overheard by: i want to meet the sister