Teacher to chatty class: Everyone, quiet, we have to go over this!
(class continues chatting)
Guy in the back: I will kill you all.
(class falls silent)
High School
Chesapeake, Virginia
Archive for the ‘Thugs’ Category
What about a Shapeshifter Disguised As Data?
Thug #1: Is it cheatin’ if you do it on the holodeck?
Thug #2: Nah. Fucking data doesn’t count either.
Target
Reston, Virginia
Overheard by: Carly
None Of Them Are Filtered
Teen gangsta wannabe yelling to small boy on playground: No, I wasn’t, I don’t smoke! He was just transferring the smoke to my mouth! (pause) Never mind! I’m not gay!
Park
Cincinnati, Ohio
Well, When the Penis Is Erect and the Vagina Is Lubricated…
Gangsta guy: So Brenda had sex with her cousin, but didn’t know it was her cousin.
Woman: How do you do that?!
DePaul University
Chicago, Illinois
Israelis Will Even Give You an Argument About That
Drunk black gangster guy, on Tel Aviv centennial celebration: I am Moses! I am Moses!
(traffic light changes, he throws arms up in air) Israelis, you may now walk!
Tel Aviv
Israel
Overheard by: E‑lad
These People Are Everywhere
Thugette: I ain’t talking to you no more!
Thug: Well, let me ask you a question — about you.
Thugette: Alright.
Thug: What you heard about me?!
Downtown Mall
Charlottesville, Virginia
Eliot Spitzer’s next big target
Thugette: Yo, I think Diet Coke got some nicotine in it, ’cause I can’t stop drinking it!
Thug: Yeah, for real. They still must be puttin’ some coke in that jank.
Passerby: It’s called caffeine.
9th & M Streets
Washington, DC
Overheard by: Erika
…Full Of Heroin?
Middle-aged black woman to husband: Baby, you remember that time I shot you?
CVS
Indianapolis, Indiana
But I Don’t Think Becoming a Baller Is a Reasonable Goal, Peewee.
Thug to friend: I ain’t no dream killer!
Seattle, Washington
Can You Picture Martha Stewart on a Public Bus?
Thug #1: Why the hell are you going all the way to back of the train car? Why don’t we sit in the front like that Martha Stewart woman?
Thug #2: What the fuck are you talking about Martha Stewart?
Thug #1: You know, she stood up for herself on the bus? Wait, who was that? Not Martha Stewart?
Orange Line at Downtown Crossing
Boston, Massachusetts
Overheard by: drunkbigirls
