Girl: First, string cheese. Then masturbation!
Saint Peter’s College
New Jersey
Archive for the ‘Time Management’ Category
What?? It’s Not Like I Told Them About Your Giant, Hammy Thighs.
Little girl in next stall: But what if Old Faithful starts going while we’re not out there?
Girl’s mother: Well, you’ll have to pee really quickly so mommy can pee and then we can go.
Little girl: But you take a long time to pee.
Mother: Yes, I know.
(pause)
Little girl: You take a long time to pee.
Mother: Well, thank you for announcing that to the entire bathroom.
Restroom, Old Faithful Inn
Yellowstone National Park, Wyoming
Just Killing Time Before the Dance Party in the Romance Languages Section
Brunette: So, are you gonna get some studying done?
Blonde: No, not really…
Brunette: So, you’re here just to kill time?
Blonde: Yeah, to play.
Baillieu Library
University of Melbourne
Australia
Now Kindly Fasten Your Seat Belts in Case the Doors Fly Off
Stewardess: Sorry for the delay, ladies and gentlemen. The first two planes we tried didn’t work, so this is the third one and we made it here okay…so, so far, so good!
Airport Runway
Cabo San Lucas
Mexico
What If We Have Tea and Just Look Out the Window?
Girl on phone: Come on! Join me for a cup of coffee. We’ll finish studying and then we’ll jump out of the window!
University of Trieste
Italy
Overheard by: MissKinney
Awww… Is Somebody Jealous?
Worker: My wife is pregnant!
Boss: Do you have a project plan for this?
Worker: Uh…
Boss: What’s the planned date of completion?
Worker: … May?
Boss: Hope you’ve done a risk analysis.
http://community.livejournal.com/overheardinmelb/180395.html
Is It or Is It Not the High Holy Days?
Boy #1: Dude, you know what the best time to get high would be? Right before temple.
Boy #2: No, dude, it’s Yom Kippur. You’ll be so hungry…
Private High School
New York, New York
Overheard by: so many things wrong with this
You’ll Notice That Your Test Booklets Come Equipped with Condoms and Lube
Teacher: Okay, so the online quiz is up. You have a week to complete it, in your own time. I suggest, even encourage, you to bring your laptops and get together with your friends and have an “online quiz party”. Last year we had students throwing “online quiz orgies” but that’s another story.
Griffith University
Australia
You Know… Down There
Anthropology professor teaching Sex and Gender: I’m afraid I’ll have to leave class early today…I have to go to the hospital, I have a doctor’s appointment…for something…at a certain time…
Western Washington University
Bellingham, Washington
Roseanne Barr: The Flight Attendant Years
Angry suit: When is this plane going to take off? I have a very important meeting to get to!
Flight attendant: The incoming plane is delayed, sir, there’s nothing we can do at the moment.
Angry suit: Well, are you going to make arrangements for me to get on another flight? This is urgent! Do you know who I am?
Flight attendant (over loudspeaker): Excuse me, ladies and gentlemen, there is a gentleman at the desk who does not know who he is. If anyone has any information about his identity, please come forward.
Midway Airport
Chicago, Illinois
