Archive for the ‘Time Management’ Category

Roseanne Barr: The Flight Attendant Years

Angry suit: When is this plane going to take off? I have a very important meeting to get to!
Flight attendant: The incoming plane is delayed, sir, there's nothing we can do at the moment.
Angry suit: Well, are you going to make arrangements for me to get on another flight? This is urgent! Do you know who I am?
Flight attendant (over loudspeaker): Excuse me, ladies and gentlemen, there is a gentleman at the desk who does not know who he is. If anyone has any information about his identity, please come forward. Midway Airport
Chicago, Illinois

Then Do Drugs and Cry

Girl #1: … And my boyfriend told me what a bad person I was, and I was like, ‘Don’t say that to me! You’re hurting my feelings!’ Then I did drugs and cried all day.
Girl #2: Wow. Well, we should really study today…
Girl #1: Yeah, let’s stay really late. Like, ’til 10.
Girl #2, totally serious: Yeah… Or we can go to the Biosphere and get burgers…
Girl #1, also serious: Yeah.

I Long to Feel the Pleasant Tingle of Arthritis

(at 4:30 pm)
College girl #1: Well, we could go get dinner now, but it's really early for that.
College guy: Well, it's not too early if you are old.
College girl #2: Yeah, they always start rolling into the restaurant about this time.
College girl #1: Really? I can't wait to be old! Overheard by: I'm not in that big of a rush