Frat boy to another: Dude, why do we always act like such assholes?
National Zoo
Washington, DC
Overheard by: keeeeem
Archive for the ‘Tourist attractions’ Category
Now I Go to the Nursing Home and Do That to Grandma
Mom passing rows of whole fish: When I was a little girl, I used to poke their raw eyeballs with my finger!
Little boy: Wow!
Pike Market
Seattle, Washington
Overheard by: wow indeed
But I Don’t Know Why the Caged Bird Sings!
Mother pushing stroller with three small boys at her side: Your brother asked you a question. Now answer it or stop talking!
Valley Fair
Shakopee, Minnesota
Especially With Their Eyes Shut
Guy: If someone was legally blind, it would be really hard for them to see in here.
Revenge of the Mummy ride, Universal Studios
Orlando, Florida
Why Twitter Was Invented
Guy on cell walking past elephants: I’m watching elephants pour shit on their heads. Yeah, I’m watching elephants pour shit on their heads. Okay. Bye.
Busch Gardens
Tampa Bay, Florida
I Like to Think Of It As Adding a Little More Magic to the Kingdom
Male golfer to 20-something son and his girlfriend: See, that’s the problem golfing with a female. If there are no women here, the world is your toilet!
The Magnolia Golf Course, DisneyWorld
Orlando, Florida
By the Prince’s Attorney in Cross-Examination
Single mom: And what happens to Cinderella at midnight?
Eight-year-old son: She gets destroyed!
Disneyland
Anaheim, California
In Case You’re Curious…
Little boy: Dad, what’s a “brer” rabbit?
Father: A rabbit with a lot of brer in it.
Magic Kingdom
Disney World, Florida
Overheard by: Natalie
How the Woodland Park Zoo Became a Disco Inferno
Trashy mom trying to get toddler to leave an animal exhibit: Get over here or I’ll whop your butt!
(five seconds later) And give me back my lighter!
Woodland Park Zoo
Seattle, Washington
Overheard by: Jenster
As Depicted in All of My Paintings
Mother to daughter: I swear, next time you’re going to smack your mouth on something and I’m just going to move you to the side and leave you there and watch the blood run down.
On Line for Space Mountain
Disney World, Florida
Overheard by: Kat
