Woman on phone, sobbing and screaming: We have two beautiful children, and you want to stick your dick in someone else?
Disneyland
Anaheim, California
Archive for the ‘Tourist attractions’ Category
Dad’s a Committed Mythical Traditionalist
Little girl: So when do we get to see the unicorns?
Dad: There don’t have any. Unicorns aren’t real.
Little girl: Even African unicorns?
Dad: No, they don’t exist either. And even if there were real unicorns, they’d probably be from Europe.
Zoo
Honolulu, Hawaii
Overheard by: mel
Especially With Their Eyes Shut
Guy: If someone was legally blind, it would be really hard for them to see in here.
Revenge of the Mummy ride, Universal Studios
Orlando, Florida
I Like to Think Of It As Adding a Little More Magic to the Kingdom
Male golfer to 20-something son and his girlfriend: See, that’s the problem golfing with a female. If there are no women here, the world is your toilet!
The Magnolia Golf Course, DisneyWorld
Orlando, Florida
If You Get Kidnapped, What Happens to the Child Support, Huh?
Woman to child: I’m not responsible for knowing where you are. It’s not my job to watch you. You need to be responsible and know where I’m at.
Aquarium
Atlanta, Georgia
Overheard by: Really?
What Kind Of a Boy Gives Hugs, Anyway?
Man to son, coming out of restroom: After what you tried to do to Tigger I’m not sure if you deserve that.
Disney World
Orlando, Florida
Overheard by: Tracy
Is My Little Brother Getting Sober?
Frat boy to another: Dude, why do we always act like such assholes?
National Zoo
Washington, DC
Overheard by: keeeeem
Now I Go to the Nursing Home and Do That to Grandma
Mom passing rows of whole fish: When I was a little girl, I used to poke their raw eyeballs with my finger!
Little boy: Wow!
Pike Market
Seattle, Washington
Overheard by: wow indeed
But I Don’t Know Why the Caged Bird Sings!
Mother pushing stroller with three small boys at her side: Your brother asked you a question. Now answer it or stop talking!
Valley Fair
Shakopee, Minnesota
Why Twitter Was Invented
Guy on cell walking past elephants: I’m watching elephants pour shit on their heads. Yeah, I’m watching elephants pour shit on their heads. Okay. Bye.
Busch Gardens
Tampa Bay, Florida
