Guy on cell walking past elephants: I’m watching elephants pour shit on their heads. Yeah, I’m watching elephants pour shit on their heads. Okay. Bye.
Busch Gardens
Tampa Bay, Florida
Archive for the ‘Tourist attractions’ Category
I Like to Think Of It As Adding a Little More Magic to the Kingdom
Male golfer to 20-something son and his girlfriend: See, that’s the problem golfing with a female. If there are no women here, the world is your toilet!
The Magnolia Golf Course, DisneyWorld
Orlando, Florida
By the Prince’s Attorney in Cross-Examination
Single mom: And what happens to Cinderella at midnight?
Eight-year-old son: She gets destroyed!
Disneyland
Anaheim, California
Now I Go to the Nursing Home and Do That to Grandma
Mom passing rows of whole fish: When I was a little girl, I used to poke their raw eyeballs with my finger!
Little boy: Wow!
Pike Market
Seattle, Washington
Overheard by: wow indeed
In Case You’re Curious…
Little boy: Dad, what’s a “brer” rabbit?
Father: A rabbit with a lot of brer in it.
Magic Kingdom
Disney World, Florida
Overheard by: Natalie
How the Woodland Park Zoo Became a Disco Inferno
Trashy mom trying to get toddler to leave an animal exhibit: Get over here or I’ll whop your butt!
(five seconds later) And give me back my lighter!
Woodland Park Zoo
Seattle, Washington
Overheard by: Jenster
As Depicted in All of My Paintings
Mother to daughter: I swear, next time you’re going to smack your mouth on something and I’m just going to move you to the side and leave you there and watch the blood run down.
On Line for Space Mountain
Disney World, Florida
Overheard by: Kat
Rhino Chicks Never Give Me the Time Of Day
Man #1, watching rhino: Damn, it’s huge.
Man #2: Lucky bastard.
San Diego Zoo
San Diego, California
Overheard by: Nikki
Jared Likes to Watch the History Channel on Acid
Teen to others: Did you know that Ben Franklin invented the first haunted house?
In Line for Haunted House
Roanoke, Vriginia
Is My Little Brother Getting Sober?
Frat boy to another: Dude, why do we always act like such assholes?
National Zoo
Washington, DC
Overheard by: keeeeem
