Archive for the ‘Tourists’ Category

You’d Think There’d Be a Train

Cana­di­an girl #1 to tour op­er­a­tor: Where can we do tours of Auschwitz?
Tour op­er­a­tor: Um, well, Auschwitz is in Poland, so…
Cana­di­an girl #2: No, but we mean the one the Ger­mans set up for the war. The Ger­man one.
Tour op­er­a­tor: Yes, I un­der­stand, but they set it up in Poland.
Cana­di­an girl #1, af­ter pause: Are you sure? We came to Berlin just to see it.

Berlin
Ger­many

Over­heard by: Jit

Trans­la­tion: “Wel­come to New York, Mutha­fuck­aaaas.”

MTA work­er to tourist mom buy­ing tick­ets with daugh­ter: 10 dol­lars.
Mom: Oh, but she’s a stu­dent.
Work­er, look­ing at daugh­ter: Oh! How nice for you! (looks back at mom) Ten dol­lars please.

Sub­way Sta­tion
New York City, New York

Over­heard by: Glad thats not my cheap-ass mom

Dear World– We Apol­o­gize.

Amer­i­can tourist #1: What’s your back­ground?
Tourist guide: Abo­rig­i­nal.
Amer­i­can tourist #1: No, as in “where were you born?“
Tourist guide: Here, in Aus­tralia.
Amer­i­can tourist #1: But you’re black!
Tourist guide: Yes… I’m abo­rig­i­nal.
Amer­i­can tourist #1: But I thought you guys were all ex­tinct! Are you, like, the last one?
Amer­i­can tourist #2: Jay, shut up. It’s id­iots like you that make us look stu­pid. He’s mess­ing with you, there are no abo­rig­i­nals.

Ade­laide, Aus­tralia