Archive for the ‘Tourists’ Category

Trans­la­tion: “Wel­come to New York, Mutha­fuck­aaaas.”

MTA work­er to tourist mom buy­ing tick­ets with daugh­ter: 10 dol­lars.
Mom: Oh, but she’s a stu­dent.
Work­er, look­ing at daugh­ter: Oh! How nice for you! (looks back at mom) Ten dol­lars please.

Sub­way Sta­tion
New York City, New York

Over­heard by: Glad thats not my cheap-ass mom

Dear World– We Apol­o­gize.

Amer­i­can tourist #1: What’s your back­ground?
Tourist guide: Abo­rig­i­nal.
Amer­i­can tourist #1: No, as in “where were you born?“
Tourist guide: Here, in Aus­tralia.
Amer­i­can tourist #1: But you’re black!
Tourist guide: Yes… I’m abo­rig­i­nal.
Amer­i­can tourist #1: But I thought you guys were all ex­tinct! Are you, like, the last one?
Amer­i­can tourist #2: Jay, shut up. It’s id­iots like you that make us look stu­pid. He’s mess­ing with you, there are no abo­rig­i­nals.

Ade­laide, Aus­tralia

An In­sti­tu­tion Worth Pro­tect­ing

Obese mid­dle-aged tourist to hus­band: I called him and told him we’re at pas­sen­ger pick-up 2. He called and asked where we’d be, and I said pas­sen­ger pick-up 2, that’s where he can find us. It’s just eas­i­er to find us when he gets here. Pas­sen­ger pick-up 2. And it’s cold. That’s why I brought this vest. I brought this vest in case it got cold, and it got cold. I’m go­ing to but­ton it up. Did you hear me? I’m go­ing to but­ton it up. There, it’s but­toned. (hus­band ig­nores her)

Newark Air­port, New Jer­sey

Over­heard by: EthanK