Man to wife: You can bring the Beanie Babies if you really want.
Brighton
England
Overheard by: Randy
Archive for the ‘Toys’ Category
…That’s a Terrible Marketing Slogan.
Gay man: Listen, we’ve all shat, we’ve all farted, we’ve all touched ourselves, and we’ve all used a dildo.
Girls: Ummm… no.
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Maybe Just Take It to a George Clooney Movie
Girl on cell: We’re going to vibe her vagina. Well, not vibe it.
San Francisco, California
Overheard by: K
On the Plus Side, She Was Doing Some Pretty Nifty Baton Tricks
Security guard to woman who just drove over the curb: Are you drunk?
Woman driver: No, she (points to passenger) was distracting me with my vibrator!
Hospital Parking Lot
Denver, Colorado
The Environment Thanks You, Citizen!
Woman browsing through dildos at a sex shop: Do you have any of these that plug in? I run through batteries too fast.
Toledo, Ohio
Overheard by: Cap
If You Require Further Explanation, You Definitely Need to Attend.
Hot chick: I’m having a fantasia party; I made it a facebook event: Are you going to come?
Clueless girl: Whats a fantasia party?
Hot chick: Its for like chicks only, you hang out, drink and buy naughty stuff.
Clueless girl: I don’t get it?
Hot chick: What’s there to get? You come to my place, get drunk and buy sexy, naughty things?
Clueless girl: I still don’t get it.
Hot chick: Holy fuck! Its like a Tupperware party ‑only with dildos!
Ottawa
Ontario
Canadia
Overheard by: Make Mine 9 Inches!
Now Finish Your Pop Rocks and Soda, and Let’s Go Home
12-year-old girl to younger sibling: Every time you buy a Barbie they give money to the abortion place to give someone like a scholarship for an abortion. Every time you touch a barbie, it’s like touching an abortion.
Toy Store
San Francisco, California
Overheard by: i now want to touch a barbie
…So I’m Afraid I’ll Have to Decline Your Offer.
Macy’s sales clerk: Now this cologne is $19.99 for the large bottle and comes with the free teddy bear.
Large woman spilling out of leopard-print tube top, sniffing: This is nice… It’s real classy smelling.
Richmond, Virginia
Overheard by: I don’t discriminate; I hate everybody.
I Think You’d Be Surprised
Cute queer #1: Yeah, but aren’t you worried about the sodomy laws around there?
Cute queer #2: No, not really.
Cute queer #1: My god, why not?
Cute queer #2: I don’t think that a fleshlight really counts as sodomy.
Grand Avenue
Saint Louis, Missouri
Overheard by: Confused Dyke On The Corner
They Are Currently in Place
Well-dressed man to female companion, in crowded tasting room: Did you remember the dildo?
Elegant lady companion: Yes, I brought both of them.
Napa Valley wine Auction
St. Helena, California
