Teen (brandishing Nerf gun): I’m gonna get you! Here I come! I’m gonna shoot you right in the mouth!
Small boy: Noooo! No more Nerf kisses!
Simi Valley, California
Overheard by: the mster
Archive for the ‘Toys’ Category
Kids Start Disappointing You As Soon As They Possibly Can
Little girl: Mom, can I buy that doll house?
Mom: No, you don’t have enough money.
Daughter: Can’t I just use my college money?
Mom: No.
Daughter: But I don’t want to go to college, I want the doll house! I don’t want to go to college!
Toy Store
Canadia
I’m Gonna Pull-Start Him Like a Lawnmower
Hot Asian chick #1: The passion party was so fun — you guys should’ve gone.
Hot Asian chick #2: Oh my god! I wish I would’ve known about it. Did they have the Jack Rabbit?
Hot Asian chick #3: Yeah — and, like, oils and stuff?
Hot Asian chick #2: Forget that! Did they have anal beads?! [Sighs and glances over at her boyfriend] Our sex life has really gotten boring…
Dallas, Texas
Overheard by: looking for the cameras
Um, Books About Dildos?
Janeane Garofalo incarnate, walking past adult bookstore: What more does a feminist need than dildos and books?
Denver, Colorado
Overheard by: A. N. Cargo
Available in a Wide Variety Of Sizes and Colors
Girl #1: You’re too horny for your own good. Why don’t you just get a dildo?
Girl #2: Why would I want a dildo when I can just get the real thing whenever I want?
Emory University
Atlanta, Georgia
Overheard by: Hank
That’s the Last Time I’ll Babysit Those Brats
Mellow teen: I got slapped in the tit with a dildo last night.
New Paltz, New York
Why Gay Best Friends Were Invented
[Two 20-something guys are staring at Colleen Moore’s ornate fairy castle dollhouse.]Guy #1: Oh, man.
Guy #2: No man on earth could have ever kept this woman happy.
Museum of Science and Industry
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: Joan
…I Don’t Care What Your Forensics Team Found.
Male lecturer to friend: Well: in my defense, it wasn’t my dildo.
Lancaster University
England
I’ll Not Be Upstaged by a Rabbit
Little girl: The show will now begin. Please sit down and turn off your vibrators!
Barnes and Noble
Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: Pretty sure she’s been to the theater before
…Just on That Lady’s Shoes.
Overexcited boy in cafe: Mum, mum, mum! Can I play with my new toy? Can I? Can I? Can I?
Disinterested mum: Sure.
Overexcited boy, holding toy: Look! I’m holding my winkle. And I’m peeing. I’m peeing all over the drinks. There’s wee everywhere!
Disinterested mum: No, there isn’t.
Kingston-Upon-Thames
England
Overheard by: Ben
