Archive for the ‘Toys’ Category

Kids Start Dis­ap­point­ing You As Soon As They Pos­si­bly Can

Lit­tle girl: Mom, can I buy that doll house?
Mom: No, you don’t have enough mon­ey.
Daugh­ter: Can’t I just use my col­lege mon­ey?
Mom: No.
Daugh­ter: But I don’t want to go to col­lege, I want the doll house! I don’t want to go to col­lege!

Toy Store

I’m Gonna Pull-Start Him Like a Lawn­mow­er

Hot Asian chick #1: The pas­sion par­ty was so fun — you guys should’ve gone.
Hot Asian chick #2: Oh my god! I wish I would’ve known about it. Did they have the Jack Rab­bit?
Hot Asian chick #3: Yeah — and, like, oils and stuff?
Hot Asian chick #2: For­get that! Did they have anal beads?! [Sighs and glances over at her boyfriend] Our sex life has re­al­ly got­ten bor­ing…

Dal­las, Texas

Over­heard by: look­ing for the cam­eras

…Just on That La­dy’s Shoes.

Overex­cit­ed boy in cafe: Mum, mum, mum! Can I play with my new toy? Can I? Can I? Can I?
Dis­in­ter­est­ed mum: Sure.
Overex­cit­ed boy, hold­ing toy: Look! I’m hold­ing my win­kle. And I’m pee­ing. I’m pee­ing all over the drinks. There’s wee every­where!
Dis­in­ter­est­ed mum: No, there is­n’t.


Over­heard by: Ben