Conductor: This train will terminate at Stratford. The next station is Waterloo. Please change here for the Bakerloo, Northern and Waterloo & City lines. Alternatively you can also change for Waterloo International, catch the next Eurostar, go to Paris and show the French how to play rugby.
London
England
Overheard by: kat
Scruffy man with garbage bag to stranger: Want to buy some chicken breast?
Blue Line Train
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Ballet girl: Do you know how much our feet are worth?!
West Leederville Train Station
Perth
Western Australia
Overheard by: Rose
Mother, exiting trolley, to her son: Okay, come on, there’s people behind us.
Son: I want to say goodbye!
Mother: Oh, god.
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Woman talking on phone to friend: I have a real thing for little boys. I never used to…
Train Leaving Brighton
England
Overheard by: Wishing she hadn’t tuned in at that point
Teen girl: Mom, guess what he got me for an early Christmas present?
Mother: What, honey?
Teen girl: A gas-mask bong–like in that movie Knocked Up. And it’s purple!
Mother: Jeez, your dork-o-meter is in the red.
MARTA Train
Atlanta, Georgia
Dad: Later, we need to find grandma a boyfriend.
Seven-year-old son: Grandma already has a boyfriend, though.
Dad: Really? Who?
Seven-year-old son: She’s married to granddad!
Dad: No, no, your other grandma.
Seven-year-old son: Oh yeah, she really needs a boyfriend.
Train
Manchester
England
Hobo #1, holding sneaker, to another: Put that shoe on!
Hobo #2: Man, I don’t want to sweat in the shoe. That’ll make my feet stink!
Hobo #1: Man, what the fuck you worried about? Your feet already stink. I can smell them from here. Those people can smell them from here. Now put on your goddamn shoes and tie that shit up tight. No one wants to smell what you got. Now I’m going to stand here and watch you tie those shoes for the good of everyone on this train.
(others on train applaud)
MARTA Train
Atlanta, Georgia
Overheard by: Finally, a humanitarian homeless man
Train driver: This train is being taken out of service. Brigham Circle will be the last stop for this train. Don’t hate the player, hate the game!
E Train
Boston, Massachusetts
Overheard by: camille
Girl on train: I usually do my arms, but then I look at Jane and her hairy arms and think, Man, if she can do it, I can, too!
http://overheardinsydney.blogspot.com/2006/02/when-in-rome-do-as-romans-do.html
Hat Tip 🎩 to The Marketing Scientist
