Girlfriend on packed, stopped train: I’m bored. Tell me a story.
Boyfriend: I remember the first time I saw you…you were crying…sitting outside the abortion clinic. I gave you my hankie.
Yellow Train
Washington, DC
Overheard by: entertained next to them
50-something man to 50-something woman: You are not homeless. Homeless people don’t own dinnerware!
BART Train
San Francisco, California
Overheard by: Morpheus
Guido to skinny guy on métro: So you weren’t really grabbing her boobs. That’s just following instructions. (pause) You were just being a team player, man.
Vendôme Métro
Montréal
Canadia
Mother to five-year-old: Keep moving, we don’t want to be in the first car. If the train crashes, we’d be done for.
Metro North Railroad
New York City, New York
Overheard by: BOB Sled
Conductor: This train will terminate at Stratford. The next station is Waterloo. Please change here for the Bakerloo, Northern and Waterloo & City lines. Alternatively you can also change for Waterloo International, catch the next Eurostar, go to Paris and show the French how to play rugby.
London
England
Overheard by: kat
Scruffy man with garbage bag to stranger: Want to buy some chicken breast?
Blue Line Train
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Ballet girl: Do you know how much our feet are worth?!
West Leederville Train Station
Perth
Western Australia
Overheard by: Rose
Mother, exiting trolley, to her son: Okay, come on, there’s people behind us.
Son: I want to say goodbye!
Mother: Oh, god.
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Woman talking on phone to friend: I have a real thing for little boys. I never used to…
Train Leaving Brighton
England
Overheard by: Wishing she hadn’t tuned in at that point
Teen girl: Mom, guess what he got me for an early Christmas present?
Mother: What, honey?
Teen girl: A gas-mask bong – like in that movie Knocked Up. And it’s purple!
Mother: Jeez, your dork-o-meter is in the red.
MARTA Train
Atlanta, Georgia
Hat Tip 🎩 to The Marketing Scientist
