Archive for the ‘Undies’ Category

A Small Price to Pay for Getting Head from Slimer

Girl changing after gym: Oh my god! My underwear’s, like, glowing inside my pants!

Lockport Township High School
Lockport, Illinois

Is My Widdle Boy Gonna Asphyxiatey-watey?

Mom, giving toddler a stocking: That’ll keep you quiet for a minute. [Toddler starts stretching it over his face.] Awww, that’s so cute. Are you gonna go rob a bank?

DSW Shoes
New Jersey

Overheard by: Unburdened shoe shopper

…Even You with Your Thunder Thighs, Zeus.

College girl to friend: the nice thing about a toga is that you don’t have to wear Spanx with it.

Metro State College of Denver
Denver, Colorado

Oh, Well. It’s the Thought That Counts

Girl to guy trying to grab her underwear: Ow! What the fuck are you doing?
Boy: Sorry! I was trying to give you a wedgie, but I didn’t realize that you already had one.

Alaska Pacific University
Anchorage, Alaska

Weirdest. Job Interview. Ever.

Man on cell in very quiet bus: Look. I took the pills, I put the powder in my pants, I don’t have cooties anymore!

Bus
Seattle, Washington

Overheard by: Kat from Tacoma

Wouldn’t Going Potty First Be Most Important?

Mother in bathroom stall to small child: We can go soon, but first mommy has to go potty, then put her pants back on. Put her pants back on… That’s the most important thing.

Puyallup, Washington

Overheard by: in the next stall…