Ambiguous boy, yelling to friend across hall: And no pictures of me without pants!
High School
Nashville, Tennessee
Archive for the ‘Undies’ Category
Okay, You Don’t Have to Show Me.
Grandson, watching grandmother hold cigar as if it was a joint: If grandma takes off her bra and burns it, I’m gonna freak out.
Grandma: Oh, Simon! I’m not wearing one.
Spencer, Iowa
And Find Me a Black Thong in Medium
Little boy picking up women’s underwear: Mommy, what is this?
Mother: That’s women’s underwear.
Little boy: I’m touching women’s underwear?! I’m touching women’s underwear!
Mother: Stay away from that, Tommy*.
Target
Novi, Michigan
A Small Price to Pay for Getting Head from Slimer
Girl changing after gym: Oh my god! My underwear’s, like, glowing inside my pants!
Lockport Township High School
Lockport, Illinois
Is My Widdle Boy Gonna Asphyxiatey-watey?
Mom, giving toddler a stocking: That’ll keep you quiet for a minute. [Toddler starts stretching it over his face.] Awww, that’s so cute. Are you gonna go rob a bank?
DSW Shoes
New Jersey
Overheard by: Unburdened shoe shopper
…Even You with Your Thunder Thighs, Zeus.
College girl to friend: the nice thing about a toga is that you don’t have to wear Spanx with it.
Metro State College of Denver
Denver, Colorado
Oh, Well. It’s the Thought That Counts
Girl to guy trying to grab her underwear: Ow! What the fuck are you doing?
Boy: Sorry! I was trying to give you a wedgie, but I didn’t realize that you already had one.
Alaska Pacific University
Anchorage, Alaska
Weirdest. Job Interview. Ever.
Man on cell in very quiet bus: Look. I took the pills, I put the powder in my pants, I don’t have cooties anymore!
Bus
Seattle, Washington
Overheard by: Kat from Tacoma
Wouldn’t Going Potty First Be Most Important?
Mother in bathroom stall to small child: We can go soon, but first mommy has to go potty, then put her pants back on. Put her pants back on… That’s the most important thing.
Puyallup, Washington
Overheard by: in the next stall…
When You Abducted That Thong It Was Like You Ripped Out My Very Soul
20-something crying girl: You. Don’t. Get. It. I bleed Victoria’s Secret.
Duff’s Wings
Buffalo, New York
