Bleached blonde sorority chick: If she doesn’t abort it, we’re totally throwing her a baby shower!
University
Midwest
Overheard by: GDI
Bleached blonde sorority chick: If she doesn’t abort it, we’re totally throwing her a baby shower!
University
Midwest
Overheard by: GDI
Costumed dad to little girl: You need to listen. Understand? You will not take your clothes off!
Star Wars 30th Anniversary Celebration
Los Angeles, California
Chick on cell: I don’t know — sometimes I’m just overwhelmed with a desire to smell my boss’s head.
Indianapolis, Indiana
Overheard by: Jason Carr
Drunk chick: So his penis ended up in my mouth. It just happens.
Backroom Tavern
Knoxville, Tennessee
Hipster on cell: I’ve been everywhere. [pause] Yes, I’ve been to Queens.
Hope Street, Williamsburg
Brooklyn, New York
Girl: Oh god, I must really be drunk — I’m mixing my metaphors!
Bucknell University
Woman on cell: I totally didn’t recognize her. Yeah, so I guess she thinks she can get away with not doing her hair and make-up before surgery.
Office Depot
Fort Worth, Texas
Woman on phone, sobbing and screaming: We have two beautiful children, and you want to stick your dick in someone else?
Disneyland
Anaheim, California
Mother to toddler son in stall: Honey, I really don’t understand your obsession with tights.
Arclight bathroom
Los Angeles, California
Overheard by: flashback to my boyfriend’s childhood
Gay boy to girl posse, seeing commercial for panty liners with extra sticking power: So, like, doesn’t it hurt when they stick to your vag?
Fargo, North Dakota
Hat Tip 🎩 to The Marketing Scientist