Freshman, before 8 am final: My internal alarm clock was like, “Dude, I didn’t fucking go off!”
Burlington, Vermont
Archive for the ‘Vermont’ Category
I Am One With My Car
Young woman to girl, after car accident: Do you have car insurance or anything?
College girl: Blue Cross Blue Shield.
Young woman: … Uhh… That would be health insurance.
South Burlington, Vermont
Overheard by: Charlee
To Be Fair, I Only Saw Her a Little.
Psych professor: I dated a girl who was 4′10″ once, but she always insisted that that was the legal cutoff height for little people.
Psych student: Actually, I think 4′11″ is the cutoff.
Psych professor: What? I dated a midget?
Bennington, Vermont
Overheard by: laughing in class
When, Really, They Go Together Like a Wink and Smile
Loud 40-something: The government wants to cut down on unplanned pregnancy and decrease abortions, but a dozen condoms is as much as a 12-pack of beer? Hello, middle America is not choosing condoms over beer!
Burlington, Vermont
At the Very Least, in the Cafeteria Food
Little boy: Mom! Look! An ant!
Mother (pulling little boy by the arm): Come on, sweetie, there will be ants at school.
Burlington, Vermont
…Here Comes Another One
Teen girl: This skirt is so short! My legs are freezing!
Teen boy: Mine are fine.
Teen girl: That’s because of your intense orgasms.
Teen boy: True.
Starbucks
Burlington, Vermont
Overheard by: Sweenan A. Mornstuy
Just Trying to Make Learning Fun.
Girl, frustrated: Because every time I try to study, you yell “sausage” at me!
Bristol, Vermont
It’s Whispering, “Your Friends Will Pay for Your Meal”
Girl #1 (pouring a cup of tea): Awww man, it’s all the stuff from the bottom.
Girl #2: Oooh! After you drink it, give it to me and I’ll read the tea leaves!
Girl #1: (hands the cup to girl #2)
Girl #2 (with a fake British accent): I see a hippogriff!
Guy: I did not just hear that.
Burlington, Vermont
Overheard by: Misaki
For Some Reason, It Rarely Happens the Other Way Around
College girl, surprised: You went on a blind date last night?
College boy: Yeah, she was nice. She’s gonna be a nurse.
Sketchy friend: Dude, that’s awesome! Y’know, nurses make the best porn stars.
Coffeeshop
Burlington, Vermont
If You Know What I Mean
Professor: That’s what people in Paris did on Sunday afternoons — they walked their ostriches.
Vermont
