Blonde girl entering the cafeteria: These lines are so long! Thank god I decided to be anorexic!
Mary Washington University
Fredericksburg, Virginia
Overheard by: waiting in line
Archive for the ‘Virginia’ Category
I’ll Just Clear the Table and Then You Can Start Flinging Your Poop
Waitress: You were a hungry bunch of monkeys, weren’t you?
Fredericksburg, Virginia
According to My Logic Professor
Guy: If you can like anal, you can like feet!
George Mason University
Fairfax, Virginia
I Think I Read That in the Bible
Teacher: You can use stethoscopes to listen to water in trees. You should listen to thin trees and trees with less bark.
Student: Should it be hardwood or softwood?
Teacher: Softwood. You can’t beat softwood.
Classroom
Alexandria, Virginia
For the Last Time, It Was a Freak Welding Accident!
Guy on cell: Yeah, I get scared when you turn out the lights. (pause) That’s not gay. (pause) It’s not gay when “turning out the lights” means putting your hands over my eyes while we’re test-driving a car that’s worth more than your sister’s gold plated vahjay!
George Mason University
Virginia
Overheard by: Your sister won
What With Mrs. Butterworth Morally Judging Me
Elderly woman: You know… It’s so hard to eat pancakes in the nude!
Winchester, Virginia
Overheard by: SB
Give It Time
Teen girl #1: I heard this place is full of snakes and dead people.
Teen girl #2: Yeah, well, it’s not a mall!
James River
Richmond, Virginia
My Mother Always Said I Married a Piece Of Trash
Neighbor, talking about busy husband: Yeah, he may take Monday off just to decompose.
Burke, Virginia
Overheard by: Jimmy C
Are You in the Dark About Gay Sexual Slang, Dear Readers?
Gay husband to his husband: It’s these Mexican circumstances. Everyone knows when you pass go, you collect $200.
Fairfax, Virginia
Whereas My Beer Belly Is a Perfect Sphere
Male student to girlfriend: Your body is uneven!
George Mason University
Fairfax County, Virginia
