Blonde girl entering the cafeteria: These lines are so long! Thank god I decided to be anorexic!
Mary Washington University
Fredericksburg, Virginia
Overheard by: waiting in line
Blonde girl entering the cafeteria: These lines are so long! Thank god I decided to be anorexic!
Mary Washington University
Fredericksburg, Virginia
Overheard by: waiting in line
Waitress: You were a hungry bunch of monkeys, weren’t you?
Fredericksburg, Virginia
Guy: If you can like anal, you can like feet!
George Mason University
Fairfax, Virginia
Teacher: You can use stethoscopes to listen to water in trees. You should listen to thin trees and trees with less bark.
Student: Should it be hardwood or softwood?
Teacher: Softwood. You can’t beat softwood.
Classroom
Alexandria, Virginia
Guy on cell: Yeah, I get scared when you turn out the lights. (pause) That’s not gay. (pause) It’s not gay when “turning out the lights” means putting your hands over my eyes while we’re test-driving a car that’s worth more than your sister’s gold plated vahjay!
George Mason University
Virginia
Overheard by: Your sister won
Elderly woman: You know… It’s so hard to eat pancakes in the nude!
Winchester, Virginia
Overheard by: SB
Teen girl #1: I heard this place is full of snakes and dead people.
Teen girl #2: Yeah, well, it’s not a mall!
James River
Richmond, Virginia
Neighbor, talking about busy husband: Yeah, he may take Monday off just to decompose.
Burke, Virginia
Overheard by: Jimmy C
Gay husband to his husband: It’s these Mexican circumstances. Everyone knows when you pass go, you collect $200.
Fairfax, Virginia
Male student to girlfriend: Your body is uneven!
George Mason University
Fairfax County, Virginia
Hat Tip 🎩 to The Marketing Scientist