What You Nev­er Knew about the Last Sup­per

Hip­ster chick: You know, you can tell it’s a good par­ty by how many peo­ple get their stom­achs pumped, and whether or not Mark gets naked.
Friend: To­tal­ly.

Star­bucks
Vir­ginia

Well, That’s a Giv­en

HS boy #1: I love cheese­cake in my mouth.
HS boy #2: You love dick in your mouth!!
HS boy #1: Well, yeah, if it has cheese­cake on it!

Chris­tians­burg, Vir­ginia

You’re the Worst The­sis Ad­vi­sor Ever

Girl walk­ing through cam­pus: I can’t be­lieve you, I’m sit­ting in my liv­ing room in noth­ing but a tow­el, with mas­cara stream­ing down my face and you don’t even care!

George Ma­son Uni­ver­si­ty
Fair­fax, Vir­ginia

Over­heard by: You sit on a throne of lies

Guess Some­body Wants to Go to Col­lege

Teacher to chat­ty class: Every­one, qui­et, we have to go over this!
(class con­tin­ues chat­ting)
Guy in the back: I will kill you all.
(class falls silent)

High School
Chesa­peake, Vir­ginia

So Stop Feed­ing Them That Freeze-Dried Ice Cream

Man: I just want­ed to go to the cafe­te­ria la­dy and say, ‘My chil­dren are not as­tro­nauts!’

Ted’s Restau­rant
Vir­ginia

Over­heard by: Nic

At Least Let Me Tie You to the Roof-Rack

Girl stopped at a gas sta­tion re­fu­el­ing: Get out of my trunk now! Peo­ple are go­ing to think that I kid­napped you!

Char­lottesville, Vir­ginia

Over­heard by: A Con­cerned Friend

I Think You’re Sup­posed to Whis­tle, Grunt, or Moan

Gym bun­ny: Man, I feel like a beached whale! Mooo!

Gym, Christo­pher New­port Uni­ver­si­ty
New­port News, Vir­ginia

Harshin’ My Buzz, Dude

Drunk fresh­man: I love it here! Look, even the street sparkles!
Pass­ing up­per­class­man: That’s bro­ken glass.

Rich­mond, Vir­ginia

The Wine Will Re­veal Her True Self.

Fa­ther to young daugh­ter in de­part­ment store: I’m just go­ing to get her a bot­tle of wine since I don’t know what a coverup is.

Falls Church, Vir­ginia

But All You Re­al­ly Need Is Some Con­ceal­er and a Dream

Girl #1: So when is that thing you guys are do­ing?
Girl #2: Oh my god! You have to go! We’re all go­ing to get naked and walk around cam­pus all day.
Girl #1: I hon­est­ly would, but I have tat­toos in some re­al­ly un­con­ven­tion­al places.
Girl #2: Oh, I un­der­stand to­tal­ly.

Chem Lab, William and Mary
Williams­burg, Vir­ginia