Archive for the ‘Virginity’ Category

Without a Rich Fantasy Life, Scots Would All Commit Suicide

Teenage girl: What are you doing here?
20-something girl: Came to get some lighters because I lost mine.
Teenage girl, after a moment: Your virginity?
20-something girl, slowly: No, my lighters…you just choose what you want to hear and make up the rest, don’t you?
Teenage girl: Yeah.

Scotland
United Kingdom

Overheard by: Jen

I Remember the First Time I Felt the Sting for Forceable Intercourse and the Warmth Of Dirt…

Tour guide: The vestal virgins would be raped and buried alive if they were no longer virgins. If they let the fire go out, they would just be buried alive.
Tourist: I dunno if that’s any better.
Little old Japanese woman: Hey, at least the first way you get some thrills.

Colosseum
Rome
Italy

And I Felt Really Bad When the Shoe and I Ran Off to Cancun Without Her

Guy: Didn’t you have a friend who lost her virginity to her shoe?
Green haired girl: Yeah. She fell on her foot and ruptured it or something. Like riding a horse.
Pink haired girl: What the fuck?
Guy: Told you!
Green haired girl: I felt bad when she told us because I was the only one busting up laughing.

California

Ah Well, You Can Always Become President.

Professor: Isaac Newton, on his deathbed, was proud to announce that he was a virgin. So if any of you want to be famous scientists, you are going to have to be willing to make a few sacrifices.
Girl, raising hand: Um.
Professor: Oh, is it too late?

De Anza Community College
Cupertino, California

Overheard by: shyinvisiblegirl loves physics