Teenage boy to teenage girl: I have a bigger penis than you.
Seattle, Washington
Teenage boy to teenage girl: I have a bigger penis than you.
Seattle, Washington
Weird Asian guy: You’ve never heard about the clitoral frequency?! It’s a certain frequency that only men can hit, and if they hit it then all the women in the area will simultaneously orgasm.
Weird white guy: I’ve heard about the clitoral frequency! If you get an all-male choir to all sing as low as they can go, then they hit it.
Seattle, Washington
Overheard by: deb
Guy #1, shocked and angry: Dude, she’s autistic!
Guy #2: Yeah! But she’s a full functioning autistic, so fuck you for judging.
Ikea
Seattle, Washington
Overheard by: Ferdinand
Chick #1: Sometimes I talk to my guy friends about the difference between women who are hot and women who are beautiful.
Chick #2: Which would they rather be with?
Chick #1: Hot in high school, but beautiful for getting married, because she’ll be beautiful forever.
All chicks: Awww!
Chick #3: That is so deep.
Spokane, Washington
Overheard by: Holly Golightly
Customer: I’d like some tea… Organic mint, please.
Barista: Okay, we have organic lemon and organic Earl Grey.
Customer: Um… Actually, I wanted the organic mint.
Barista: Oh, we have that, too.
Customer: Okay, then. That’s the one I’ll have.
Design Coffee shop, University of Washington
Seattle, Washington
Overheard by: Just Me
Mom: I don’t know what I should get for him. He likes video games and that kind of stuff. I got him a GameCube last year and he loves it.
Five-year-old child (looks away from game display, shocked): But you told me Santa got me the GameCube!
Best Buy
Seattle, Washington
Lady: … So she goes, ‘I don’t even know if it counts as sex. It was just, like, in and out in one second.’ And she’s only fifteen!
Restaurant, Belltown
Seattle, Washington
Overheard by: of bugle be uncouth
Dude to friend: … And then she asked me, ‘Where do you think this relationship is going?’ Fuck! She calls me when she’s drunk, and I leave the door unlocked for her… This situation is working out well for me — that’s where this relationship is going.
Museum of Flight
Seattle, Washington
Little girl to friend: You little… Butter, I’m going to whip you up until you smell like rotten juice!
Park Playground
Tacoma, Washington
Canadian woman #1: And they found DNA in it.
Canadian woman #2: What?
Canadian woman #1: Sperm.
Canadian woman #2: What?! Again?! That’s it, I’m not eating there anymore.
Bellingham, Washington
Overheard by: Rachel
Hat Tip 🎩 to The Marketing Scientist