Well It Works in Her Fa­vor!

Girl: I’m hang­ing out with Claire to­day, that’s why I can’t stay lat­er.
Guy: Is Claire the one with the awe­some ac­cent?
Girl: She has a speech im­ped­i­ment.

Seat­tle, Wash­ing­ton

Over­heard by: Leonard

Though I Would Ad­vise Against Googling the TA. *Shud­der*

Pro­fes­sor: So I was look­ing through your on­line home­work and I tried out the first ques­tion and I got it wrong. So I sug­gest you google the an­swer. You can find any­thing on google.

Belling­ham, Wash­ing­ton

Over­heard by: Con­dones This

Main­te­nance: “When You Put an End to Nude Chair-Hock­ey, Then We’ll Talk”

Wor­ried suit: That’s why we get our chairs cleaned more than any oth­er de­part­ment. We get our chairs cleaned every three months. Why does­n’t any­one put a stop to this?

Metro Bus
Seat­tle, Wash­ing­ton

Which Is Why AA Gives You a Spon­sor and Some New Friends

Girl on bus: I’ve been try­ing to quit drink­ing and she was all like, “have some juice with me!” And then she pulls out a half gal­lon of vod­ka, and I’m all, “bitch, what you do­ing?”

Seat­tle, Wash­ing­ton

I’m Con­tent to Be Her Booty-Call Ben­e­fi­cia­ry

Dude to friend: … And then she asked me, ‘Where do you think this re­la­tion­ship is go­ing?’ Fuck! She calls me when she’s drunk, and I leave the door un­locked for her… This sit­u­a­tion is work­ing out well for me — that’s where this re­la­tion­ship is go­ing.

Mu­se­um of Flight
Seat­tle, Wash­ing­ton

Once He Walks Through JoAn­n’s Door, a Man Starts to Die

Girl­friend, hold­ing up scrap­book thing: Do you like this?
Boyfriend: Yeah, it’s nice.
Girl­friend: “It’s nice,” be­cause it’s nice, or “it’s nice,” so we can get the fuck out of here?

JoAnn Fab­rics and Crafts
Taco­ma, Wash­ing­ton

Over­heard by: baker98391

Um, of State Se­cu­ri­ty?

Art stu­dent: He told me he re­al­ly re­lates to my or­gans.

Uni­ver­si­ty of Wash­ing­ton
Seat­tle, Wash­ing­ton

I’m Afraid Li­brary Reg­u­la­tions Dic­tate That I Must Give You a Wedgie

Li­brar­i­an: Watcha doin’?
High school girl: Study­ing.
Li­brar­i­an: Nerd.

Belling­ham, Wash­ing­ton

Is Swamp Ass the Next Evo­lu­tion­ary Step? Dis­cuss.

Teenage boy: Are you say­ing your ass­hole gets sweaty when I’m around?
Teenage girl: Ex­act­ly.

North­gate
Seat­tle, Wash­ing­ton

Over­heard by: Not­So­Su­per­Mario

Straight Love Is So 20th Cen­tu­ry

Guy on cell: Oh, for fuck­’s sake! Is it a les­bian wed­ding? … Is it a les­bian wed­ding? Then fuck it!

Seat­tle, Wash­ing­ton

Over­heard by: Mephis­to