Girl: Hey, what about that time we went duck hunting naked and…
Random passerby: That sounds like fun!
Georgetown
Washington, DC
Archive for the ‘Washington, DC’ Category
Translation: I’m Still a Little Stoned
Girl, frantically looking through fridge: Shit, I’m gonna be late for work… What the hell? Why is your rice in my freezer?
Boyfriend: Because then it will be happy and prosperous.
Washington, DC
Overheard by: Nic
What Trendy Nightclubs Are Like, in Bizarro World
Crazy blonde lady on park bench: Because they’re all about gluttony. Plus, it’s harder for them to get in if you’re thin, because they’re usually fat, you know? (two heavy ladies next to her nod)
Judiciary Square
Washington, DC
I Love This Game!
Chick: Guess who’s a lesbian couple again instead of creepy incest twins!
Washington Monument
Washington, DC
Overheard by: Ladle
This Reads Like a Seinfeld Line
College student: Everything in life can be related back to Seinfeld. It’s like the bible, except it won’t fail you.
Hookah Bar
Washington, DC
I’m One Of Those People Who’s Always Cold!
College girl #1: I can always tell it’s really cold when my face starts tightening up. And I start talking with a lisp.
College girl #2: Girl, you always talk with a lisp!
Capitol Hill
Washington, DC
I’ve Lost 10 Pounds Since I Started Sending Myself to Bed Without Supper!
Girl with blue hair, excitedly on cell: I love it when I inspire my own maternal instincts!
National Mall
Washington, DC
What’s Worse Than Abortion, Alex?
Five-year-old girl to little boy: What happened to our baby?
Little boy: Don’t you worry about that baby, woman! I threw it in the trash!
National Zoo
Washington, DC
That’s What You Said About the Dentist’s Chair!
Middle aged woman #1: I want to see the flag exhibit.
Middle aged woman #2: Me too! I hear it’s just like Space Mountain.
Smithsonian National Museum of American History
Washington, DC
I’m Still Tasting Yesterday’s
Crazy bag lady: Can I have that shirt? I’m all dirty and nasty.
Young guy: No, I need this for work.
Crazy bag lady: Oh. Can I shit in your mouth?
Young guy: Um, no.
Washington, DC
