Fashionista student: So is he like, Christian gay from project runway?
Oblivious teacher: No, he’s like Jewish gay.
American University
Washington, DC
Overheard by: I’m Jewish
Archive for the ‘Washington, DC’ Category
And You Thought Picking Up Girls at Funerals Was Bad
Girlfriend on packed, stopped train: I’m bored. Tell me a story.
Boyfriend: I remember the first time I saw you…you were crying…sitting outside the abortion clinic. I gave you my hankie.
Yellow Train
Washington, DC
Overheard by: entertained next to them
I’m Basically a Communal Stress Ball
Yuppie girl on cell: … And then he grabbed my ass right in front of her! If I was her, I would have thrown a fit… But she knows she’ll never be at my level.
Georgetown
Washington, DC
New Yorkers: We Thought It Was Clean
Girl #1: I wonder if vegans get on the metro and, like, can’t sit down because the seats are leather.
Guy: No, this is pleather.
Girl #2: If it were leather it would smell like it.
Guy: No, that’s only clean leather.
Washington, DC
Overheard by: Vegan sitting on the Metro
What’s the Word for Ironic Irony?
Young hipster dude to older hipster dude: Man, fuck Yanni. That guy sucks. [Mocks his singing] ‘The best part of waking up…’ Wait, no, that’s Michael Bolton. Wait, no, that’s Folgers!
Blue line Metro
Washington, DC
Overheard by: Laughing at that guy
I Hear the Russian Judge Gives Extra Points for That
Flaming gay over speakerphone: Just like that boy from Miami last night, I tried to suck his dick like I was trying to win an Olympic gold medal. And that’s the only ass I would lick even if it wasn’t clean.
Washington, DC
Also, “Boner”
Nerdy philosophy professor: The word that comes to mind when I think about grading multiple-choice tests is ‘bloodbath’.
Catholic University
Washington, DC
Overheard by: Ditto.
Eliot Spitzer’s next big target
Thugette: Yo, I think Diet Coke got some nicotine in it, ’cause I can’t stop drinking it!
Thug: Yeah, for real. They still must be puttin’ some coke in that jank.
Passerby: It’s called caffeine.
9th & M Streets
Washington, DC
Overheard by: Erika
Straight Men: Dammit, You Guys Ruin Everything!
Gay sports fan to table of gay sports fans, while watching Packers game: So, are you a packer or a packee?
Washington, DC
I Sure Hope So!
Loud man in fatigues: Wow! Y’all look like Charlie’s Angels. I didn’t realize how beautiful you are.
Girl #1: Oh, thanks.
Loud man in fatigues: Wow! You have beautiful feet! Can I suck a toe-jam?
Girl #1: Ummm, no, thank you.
Girl #2, whispering: What’s a toe-jam? Is it something really gross and inappropriate?
Washington, DC
