Archive for the ‘Washington, DC’ Category

I Hear the Russian Judge Gives Extra Points for That

Flaming gay over speakerphone: Just like that boy from Miami last night, I tried to suck his dick like I was trying to win an Olympic gold medal. And that’s the only ass I would lick even if it wasn’t clean.

Washington, DC

Also, “Boner”

Nerdy philosophy professor: The word that comes to mind when I think about grading multiple-choice tests is ‘bloodbath’.

Catholic University
Washington, DC

Overheard by: Ditto.

Eliot Spitzer’s next big target

Thugette: Yo, I think Diet Coke got some nicotine in it, ’cause I can’t stop drinking it!
Thug: Yeah, for real. They still must be puttin’ some coke in that jank.
Passerby: It’s called caffeine.

9th & M Streets
Washington, DC

Overheard by: Erika

Straight Men: Dammit, You Guys Ruin Everything!

Gay sports fan to table of gay sports fans, while watching Packers game: So, are you a packer or a packee?

Washington, DC

I Sure Hope So!

Loud man in fatigues: Wow! Y’all look like Charlie’s Angels. I didn’t realize how beautiful you are.
Girl #1: Oh, thanks.
Loud man in fatigues: Wow! You have beautiful feet! Can I suck a toe-jam?
Girl #1: Ummm, no, thank you.
Girl #2, whispering: What’s a toe-jam? Is it something really gross and inappropriate?

Washington, DC

Not Any Louder Than Sex in a Prom Dress, Though

Chipper girl: I tell the sex workers that they can wear the female condom before going out. You can wear it for, like, three hours. They are kind of loud, though — they crinkle! Sex is awkward, anyway.

Women’s health class, American University
Washington, DC

Overheard by: aimc

New Yorkers: We Thought It Was Clean

Girl #1: I wonder if vegans get on the metro and, like, can’t sit down because the seats are leather.
Guy: No, this is pleather.
Girl #2: If it were leather it would smell like it.
Guy: No, that’s only clean leather.

Washington, DC

Overheard by: Vegan sitting on the Metro