Archive for the ‘Weather’ Category

It Makes Up for My Lack Of Boobs.

Short Asian chick to tall white guy: Oh my gawd, I’ve got it! So, heat ris­es, right? So it’s prob­a­bly all warm up there where you are, and down here with the nor­mal peo­ple it’s cold, and that’s why you don’t think it’s cold, even though it’s freak­ing freez­ing! Gawd, I love be­ing an Asian! I come up with the most ge­nius shit!

Muir­lands Mid­dle School
La Jol­la, Cal­i­for­nia

An In­sti­tu­tion Worth Pro­tect­ing

Obese mid­dle-aged tourist to hus­band: I called him and told him we’re at pas­sen­ger pick-up 2. He called and asked where we’d be, and I said pas­sen­ger pick-up 2, that’s where he can find us. It’s just eas­i­er to find us when he gets here. Pas­sen­ger pick-up 2. And it’s cold. That’s why I brought this vest. I brought this vest in case it got cold, and it got cold. I’m go­ing to but­ton it up. Did you hear me? I’m go­ing to but­ton it up. There, it’s but­toned. (hus­band ig­nores her)

Newark Air­port, New Jer­sey

Over­heard by: EthanK

I Pre­fer to Think Of Them As My “So­lar Pan­els”

(blind shuts in lounge area, block­ing re­al­ly bright sun­shine, every­body quick­ly looks up)
Hot Chi­nese girl: Hey!
Friend: And fi­nal­ly they drop the blinds. My eyes were start­ing to hurt.
Hot Chi­nese girl: But I like the sun­shine! It’s so bright and warm and it em­pha­sizes my boobs by cast­ing shad­ows on my chest!

Uni­ver­si­ty of Toron­to
Cana­dia