Teaching assistant to bunch of anatomy students: When in doubt, touch yourself!
Cleveland State University, Ohio
Archive for the ‘Weirdness’ Category
Edgar Allen Poe Was a Difficult Kid to Raise
Mother: Honey, do you remember mommy’s friend Denise?
Four-year-old son: Uh-huh.
Mother: Well, mommy has to leave right now, because Denise’s father passed away, and I have to go and tell Denise that I’m sorry.
Four-year-old son: Oh. Did you kill him?
Port Jefferson, New York
Overheard by: arctinus
They Grow Up So Fast
3-year-old in parking lot: Mommy, I want MONEY!
Mother: Yes, honey. Me too.
Gilroy, California
Overheard by: just a cart pusher
As Depicted in All of My Paintings
Mother to daughter: I swear, next time you’re going to smack your mouth on something and I’m just going to move you to the side and leave you there and watch the blood run down.
On Line for Space Mountain
Disney World, Florida
Overheard by: Kat
…Any Questions?
English professor: Outer space is occupied by evil orientals.
Marymount University
Arlington, Virginia
Overheard by: Sarah Yvonne
Stop Referring to Freshmen That Way!
Professor: And these cultural anthropologists have discovered many different aspects of law in the countries they live in that differ to ours.
(pause)
Older student: Did you know that you can't own pygmies?
The Evergreen State College
Olympia, Washington
Overheard by: Katie
You're Not Butch Enough for Us, Pal
Hobo to girls: Oh, ladies, I like the way your skirts move. (girls look disgusted) Sorry, I can't help it if I'm a lesbian.
Olympia, Washington
Overheard by: Sticking with pants
Raise Your Hand If You Know This Guy
Loud annoying guy, gesturing toward himself: Who has two thumbs and is ready to go? This guy!
Saratoga, New York
Overheard by: Ready to Go
Not Even by New Jersey Standards?
Guy, tenderly hugging girlfriend: You're right, you're not worthy.
Red Bank, New Jersey
Tonight's Movie: The Object Of My Infection
Teen girl on phone: The chlamydia is inclusive.
Nashville, Tennessee