What the Hell Is Going On in That Gym Class?

High school student #1: My finger hurts.
High school student #2 (absent mindedly): Yeah, my ass hurts too.

Prishtina
Kosovo

Overheard by: Curly

Poor Etiolated Biped That I Am

Trendy girl: I can barely find the energy to ambulate!

http://overheardinphilly.blogspot.com/2007/07/someones-sat-classes-didnt-pay-off.html

Overheard by: try walking

Try Not to Taste or Touch Them, Okay?

Automated train station announcement: Castro street station.
Excited little girl: Yay! Castro!
Bystander: The dictator or the district?
Excited little girl thinks for a second: The rainbows!

Castro Street Station
San Francisco, California

Overheard by: Dawn

Says the Girl Who Bought Full House on DVD?

Guy: Wouldn’t it be funny if she was actually selling her baby down in Mexico, and she ended up on 48 Hours Mystery, and we could say we knew her when?
Girl: I don’t think you understand comedy.

http://overheardlines.blogspot.com/2008/09/couple-discussing-friends-vacation.html

Overheard by: tim

I Don’t Bi That for a Minute

Girl to another, leaving bus: But you can’t make everybody be gay!

London
England

For the Same Reason I Like Tightly-Wrapped Christmas Presents

(a couple at the checkout counter buying nylons)
Girl: I’m really excited for these tights.
Guy (excessively excited): Me too!

Halifax
Nova Scotia
Canadia

Ah, the Ever-Effective Nuremberg Defense!

Guido to skinny guy on métro: So you weren’t really grabbing her boobs. That’s just following instructions. (pause) You were just being a team player, man.

Vendôme Métro
Montréal
Canadia

He Heimliched Me from Behind and Just Kept Going

Girl in car, while on cell phone: I was coughing because I was eating a cookie while trying to have sex!

Denver, Colorado

Overheard by: Squid

That’s Really More of a Woman’s Perspective

Girl: Do you want me to kick you in the balls?
Guy: What?
Girl: Cause then you’d be all like, “Now I can’t reproduce. What’s the point anymore?”

Weir House
Wellington
New Zealand

Without a Rich Fantasy Life, Scots Would All Commit Suicide

Teenage girl: What are you doing here?
20-something girl: Came to get some lighters because I lost mine.
Teenage girl, after a moment: Your virginity?
20-something girl, slowly: No, my lighters…you just choose what you want to hear and make up the rest, don’t you?
Teenage girl: Yeah.

Scotland
United Kingdom

Overheard by: Jen