Teacher: Are you guys understanding this?
Class: [Stares blankly.]Teacher: It feels like I’m taking my clothes off.
Class: What?
Teacher: I meant that this is disturbing.
Kenosha, Wisconsin
Archive for the ‘Wisconsin’ Category
Snow White Is Always Hurting the Dwarves’ Feelings
Girl: Oh, as far as I’m concerned, they’re just the happy little worker bees that bring me my birth control.
Madison, Wisconsin
We Can Bond by Watching the Footage Together Later
Mom: A 21-year-old girl from Oshkosh died today, but they aren’t saying how.
College daughter: A house blew up this morning… Well, a mobile home, actually.
Mom: And it killed that 21-year-old girl?!
College daughter: Well, no. They’re unrelated. Actually, I’m just trying to upstage you… But a house really did blow up.
Appleton, Wisconsin
I’m Not Ready for 3D TV
Blonde, on childbirth: Well, there’s blood, and there are vaginas, and both make people uncomfortable.
Milwaukee, Wisconsin
Being a Viking Means Having to Pick Your Battles
Bearded college guy: Yeah, I would have had a much better chance if my last name was, like, “Visigoth,” but I couldn’t, like, lie to her about it at that point, you know?
Madison, Wisconsin
Overheard by: Elizabeth
Well, Your Ice Caps Are Melting
Student: So, the only way they won’t kick me out of college is if I was diagnosed with a mental problem. Do you think I can pull off bipolar?
University of Wisconsin-Eau Claire
It Isn’t Easy Buying Green.
Guy: So I got there, and they were out of the green ones, so I had to get two of the green ones to get one of the green ones!
Nikki’s Cafe
Beloit, Wisconsin
The High Point Of an All-Cat Theme Park
Boyfriend: Wait! Imagine… zip-lines for cats.
Girlfriend: Yes!
Stevens Point, Wisconsin
Overheard by: Hannah
Should I Write My Number on His Hand in Crayon?
Preschooler left alone in stroller, singing, to 20-something girl walking by: Cha, cha, cha…you’re charming!
20-something, on cell: I think I just got hit on by a four-year-old! No, it was actually better than most of the lines I’ve heard.
Appleton, Wisconsin
I’ll Miss Foaming at the Mouth, Though
Teen girl: Well, I had to stop eating soap, but I’m sure I’ll be fine anyways!
Madison, Wisconsin
