Archive for the ‘Wishes’ Category

Africans: Wow, They’re Fat Mon­sters and Stu­pid

Brunette: I wish I could speak those sweet African lan­guages.
Blonde: What sweet African lan­guages?
Brunette: Ya know, the ones where they cluck at each oth­er. Cluck cluck click­i­ty clack cluck.
Blonde: Yeah! I know what you mean. Clack clack cluck cluck click cluck clacky clack. (laughs)
Brunette, laugh­ing: I bet they just make stuff up!
Blonde: Yeah, dude! Clack clack click­i­ty clacky clack clack cluck! AKA, wan­na go get some cow…meat?
Brunette, laugh­ing: You’re re­tard­ed. I don’t think any­one in Africa says shit like that.


More of A Guide­line, Re­al­ly

Guy: She’s Irish, so I re­al­ly hope at some point she says: “Shut yer piehole!“
Girl: I could pay her ten bucks to say it, un­less that vi­o­lat­ed the pie hole code.
Guy: First rule of pie hole: There is no pie hole code.

Over­heard by: tim

Is This Quote Culi­nary Erot­i­ca? Dis­cuss.

Girl #1: I don’t know if I want cook­ie dough, I’d rather make cook­ies.
Girl #2: Oh, man. It’s to­tal­ly car­nal, the things I wan­na do to that cook­ie dough. I want it on my face.
(five min­utes lat­er)
Girl #1: Okay, I want some cook­ie dough.
Girl #2: I thought you did­n’t want any!
Girl #1: You gave such a rave re­view of the cook­ie dough on your face that I en­ter­tained the pos­si­bil­i­ty that I, too, might want it on my face.

Boston, Mass­a­chu­setts

Over­heard by: Lisa