Archive for the ‘Wishes’ Category

Really, Who Wants to Lay Eggs and Have a Guy Shoot on Them?

Student #1: My friend’s mom didn’t let him watch The Little Mermaid because she was half naked.
Student #2: Yeah, Ariel was such a ho-bag.
Student #1: You know she just wanted those legs so she could spread ’em.

Loma Linda, California

I Need a Designated Thinker

Girl on cell: It’s not that I don’t want to get wasted. I want to get wasted. I just don’t want to get fucked up, you know? So I’m not really sure what to do.

http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/overheardinminneapolis/~3/414278088/look-not-drinking-my-weight-in-tequila-is-not-an-option-ok.html

Overheard by: I have that dilemma often

Mr. Sandman, Bring Me a Dream/ Send Me a Girl Who Wants to Get Reamed

Girl: So I had a realistic dream last night.
Guy (uninterested): Uh-huh.
Girl: I had anal sex in the dream. But I’ve never had anal sex before. But it seemed realistic.
Guy (uninterested): Hmm.
Girl: So now I need to have anal sex to see if it was like in my dream.
Guy (suddenly interested): Yeah?

Kansas City, Missouri

Overheard by: Sarah

Dream Big, Kids.

Girl: I want a squirrel.
Friend: I want a cheeseburger.

UT
Austin, Texas

You Know Somebody’s Playing “Magic: the Gathering”

Frazzled mother: At Michigan State they don’t even have parties. They’re not going to want you at a party. You are not going to a party. There is no chance.
Hopeful twelve-year-old boy: Oh, there’s a chance.

East Lansing, Michigan

Overheard by: Cameron

My Partner, Paul, Is As Dumbfounded As I Am

Disgruntled dad-to-be: I wish I could sue the urologist, but it is what it is. So now I’m having a son. Whatever.

Portland, Oregon

Overheard by: Glad he’s not my Dad

…Now That We’ve Invented These Little Wagons for Them.

Older teenager: Go get me my Clif Bar!
Little girl, eating ice cream sandwich: I will, but I don’t want my ice cream to melt.
Older teenager, very annoyed: Bring it with you. You know an ice cream sandwich is portable!

Starbucks
Manhattan, New York