Archive for the ‘Words’ Category

Two Great Tastes That Taste Hor­ri­bleTo­geth­er

Sev­en­teen-year-old girl to boyfriend: You can’t do any­thing right! I send you in there to buy me some porn and you come out with her­maph­ro­dites? It’s called Re­al Chicks with Re­al Dicks, for fuck­’s sake.
Boyfriend (in thick ac­cent): I’m sor­ry… My english…it is not too good. I saw chicks, I saw dicks…I just grabbed it.

Man­ches­ter, New Hamp­shire

Over­heard by: tay­lor

Al­most As If Drink­ing Af­fect­ed My Judg­ment in Some Way

Guy #1: I once tried to hit on a chick while I was drunk and throw­ing up, but now that’s just a fun sto­ry I tell and no­body lost their re­spect for me.
Guy #2: Ex­cept for the girl you were hit­ting on.
Guy #1: Well, I don’t know. Her nick­name was “dick­tooth.”

Chica­go, Illi­nois

Over­heard by: Claire

B‑R-I-T-N-E‑Y

Lit­tle boy #1, read­ing flap on trash can: T‑H-A-N-K-Y-O‑U spells… um… Garbage!
Lit­tle boy #2, hit­ting boy #1: No, you dum­my! Garbage starts with a ‘B’!

Burg­er King
Grants Pass, Ore­gon

His G‑String with the Ele­phant Head on It Was a Bit of a Shock, Though

Sum­mer fun Bar­bie #1: I mean, like, I was­n’t even sur­prised that you went home with him!
Sum­mer fun Bar­bie #2: Do you mean that I had sex with him?
Sum­mer fun Bar­bie #1: Yeah.
Sum­mer fun Bar­bie #2: Yeah, me nei­ther.

http://www.overheardinminneapolis.com/2007/06/im_still_laughing_over_summer.html

Over­heard by: al­so not sur­prised

Africans: Wow, They’re Fat Mon­sters and Stu­pid

Brunette: I wish I could speak those sweet African lan­guages.
Blonde: What sweet African lan­guages?
Brunette: Ya know, the ones where they cluck at each oth­er. Cluck cluck click­i­ty clack cluck.
Blonde: Yeah! I know what you mean. Clack clack cluck cluck click cluck clacky clack. (laughs)
Brunette, laugh­ing: I bet they just make stuff up!
Blonde: Yeah, dude! Clack clack click­i­ty clacky clack clack cluck! AKA, wan­na go get some cow…meat?
Brunette, laugh­ing: You’re re­tard­ed. I don’t think any­one in Africa says shit like that.

Michi­gan

…Grand­ma.

Ghet­to la­dy on cell: Where you at? (pause) Yeah, you bet­ter be at work and not out fuck­ing around on me. (pause) You know damn well what the fuck I am talk­ing about, moth­er­fuck­er! (pause) Bitch, I am mak­ing tacos so I got­ta get some fuck­ing sour cream. (pause) I said I am mak­ing fuck­ing tacos. (pause) Al­right, I love you too.

Sun Fresh
Kansas City, Mis­souri

Over­heard by: We­sAli