Girl #1: Why is it that so many midgets end up getting into acting? There must be a shortage of midget actors…
Girl #2: Shortage?
Sault Ste Marie
Ontario
Canadia
Archive for the ‘Words’ Category
…As My Grandma Always Said to Me.
Calculus lecturer: If I had 20 million dollars to give you as a gift…I would, just to see you fuck up.
Perth
Western Australia
Australia
Almost As If Drinking Affected My Judgment in Some Way
Guy #1: I once tried to hit on a chick while I was drunk and throwing up, but now that's just a fun story I tell and nobody lost their respect for me.
Guy #2: Except for the girl you were hitting on.
Guy #1: Well, I don't know. Her nickname was “dicktooth.”
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: Claire
Did You Really Just Say That?
Guy #1: I've been talking to this chick lately. It's kinda awkward, her last boyfriend killed himself, she found him dangling on the noose. What do I say to that?
Guy #2: Tell her you're well-hung.
Delaware
Overheard by: Dave
Or Maybe It Was White Men Can't Hunch?
Girl: I was watching this show the other night about large white British men who were sent to Africa to learn to hunt. It was called Fat Men Can't Hump. Wait! No! “Hunt”! It was called Fat Men Can't Hunt. Of course they can hump… If they want to.
Post-Colonial Literature Lecture
University of British Columbia
Canadia
Overheard by: Martha Carscadden
Rain on Your Wedding Day, for Instance, Is Just Good Luck
[At computer lab.]Student #1: Try looking up “irony-“, that might work.
Student #2: Irony isn’t even a word, idiot.
Royalton, Minnesota
Overheard by: Lynn
I Expect All My Misapprehensions to Be Validated
Smart girl: Obviously ‘irregardless’ is the wrong word in the sentence.
Dumb girl: Why is that word wrong?
Smart girl: For starters, it’s not even a real word.
Dumb girl: Sure it is — I use it all the time.
Erie Community College
Orchard Park, New York
Overheard by: Smarty Pants
That, or a Phone.
Teacher: Who knows what the word “cell” means?
4th-grader: Oh, I do, I do! It's a tiny thing like a jelly doughnut! Except instead of jelly, there's blood!
Elementary School
Washington, DC
He Caught Me and Said, “I Got You, Babe.”
Random guy: I came out of the womb at Sonny's Bar-BQ!
Gainesville, Florida
Overheard by: heidi
Asian Gangs Confound All Our Expectations
Girl: I hate violinists!
Boy: What?
Girl: Violinists.
Boy: Oh. I thought you said “gang-bangers.”
BART Airport Train
San Francisco, California