Girl on cell phone: So I got a little finger action this week, but I said ‘No’ so it’s okay.
Cleveland, Ohio
Overheard by: Justin
Archive for the ‘Words’ Category
When Scientists Talk Dirty
Physics professor demonstrating electrical charges: I have my magic wand and my magic fur. Now, I’m going to rub my magic wand with my magic fur!
Allegheny College
Meadville, Pennsylvania
Yay! I've Been Trying to Outdo Myself for Weeks!
Student: How do you spell “wear”? W-e-a-r? (pause) That is the stupidest thing I've ever said.
San Diego, California
Time to Invest in Some Bose Headphones, Dear Reader
Female heard through the wall, after giving blow job: That's all you have to say? “Thanks?”
Male, through wall: Moshi-moshi.
Female, exasperated: See, that's your problem! Half the time you don't even speak English anymore!
Male: That was “thank you” in Japanese.
Female: Oh.
Norman, Oklahoma
… Little Candy Chlamydia
Woman with two toddlers, ordering cake: I need a P-E-N-I-S cake…
Manager, walking in, gleefully oblivious: Ohhh, a penis cake! We can put fake hair on it. Last time, we had fake semen shooting out…
Huntington, California
Invented by Mister Newton.
Professor: So, I can see that some of you try to care about my feelings, and others don't give a fig.
Student #1: Whoa! Could you not use such harsh vegetables?
(entire class goes silent)
Student #2: I didn't know a “fig” was a vegetable.
Student #3: I thought it was a grape. A dried grape.
Johnson & Wales University
Providence, Rhode Island
And a Fascist Participates in “Facials”?
Wadsworth character in the movie Clue: You see, my secret is that my wife was a socialist.
Girl watching the film: So, does that mean that she was a prostitute or something?
French class, All Saints High School
Whitby, Ontario
Canadia
Wishes He Had a Girl Who Looked Good He Would Call Her?
White girl to white guy: Oh, I get it. So a baller pops his collar.
St. Louis, Missouri
Overheard by: Emmitt
Whether You Deserve It or Not
New York liberal Jewish humanities teacher: You don't have to be all “ma'am” and stuff around me.
Student: Ma'am, I was raised in the South, you have to expect some non-ironic chivalry, sorry.
Florida State, Tallahassee
Overheard by: Dr Steve Manly
Just Remember: “There Are No Small Parts…”
Girl #1: Why is it that so many midgets end up getting into acting? There must be a shortage of midget actors…
Girl #2: Shortage?
Sault Ste Marie
Ontario
Canadia