Archive for the ‘Zombies’ Category

Re­li­gious Dif­fer­ences Are Best Re­solved Be­fore Mar­riage

Girl­friend: So, you don’t be­lieve in vam­pires, right?
Boyfriend: Nope.
Girl­friend: Okay, but do you be­lieve in ghosts?
Boyfriend: No, I told you I don’t be­lieve in that stuff.
Girl­friend: But you at least be­lieve in witch­es, right?
Boyfriend: No!
Girl­friend (ex­as­per­at­ed): Now you’re just be­ing naive!

Toron­to
Cana­dia

Over­heard by: king­dub­by

Al­so the Ar­gu­ment Against the Nu­clear Fam­i­ly

Guy: I won­der if any of these bombs are still func­tion­al. That way, we know where to go for sup­plies in the zom­bie apoc­a­lypse.
Girl: What? You id­iot, you don’t use nu­clear pow­er against zom­bies! They’re al­ready dead, so they can’t get can­cer and die! You would just wind up with a bunch of ra­dioac­tive zom­bies!
Guy #2: Yeah, then it’s just like Spi­der­man, but with ra­dioac­tive zom­bies in­stead of To­bey Maguire and spi­ders!

Atom­ic Pow­er Mu­se­um
Al­bu­querque, New Mex­i­co

Over­heard by: Am­red

Ham­let Woul­da Loved Res­i­dent Evil

Eng­lish teacher, read­ing Ham­let: “To die, to sleep; To sleep: per­chance to dream: ay, there’s the rub; For in that sleep of death what dreams may come…” Al­right class, we’ll pick it up from there on Mon­day.
Frat boy #1: What the fuck was that about?
Frat boy #2: I don’t know, man. Let’s go kill some zom­bies.

Get­tys­burg Col­lege
Get­tys­burg, Penn­syl­va­nia

Over­heard by: Alyssa

To Be Fair, This Is a Com­mon Theme.

Blonde wife: You do re­al­ize that our son is go­ing to tell his school­mates that Je­sus is ei­ther a zom­bie or a vam­pire. Then we are go­ing to have to ex­plain to his teacher that we are Jew­ish.
Asian hus­band: And that you are just bad at ex­plain­ing things?

Hous­ton, Texas