Customer: I want to return this mouse.
CSR: Okay. May I ask why?
Customer: No, you’ll laugh at me.
CSR: I promise I won’t.
Customer: Every time I move it around it squeaks.
Saskatoon, Saskatchewan
Canadia
Archive for September, 2007
I Hope I’m Filled with Marshmallow
16-year-old girl: Organs are icky. I hope I don’t have any.
Biology class, Carmel College
Brisbane
Australia
It’s Like Being Celibate, but Without the Effort
Man: I just get turned on by nuclear holocausts.
Gateway High School
Florida
Overheard by: Pilbur
Not Moonlite Bunny Ranch Caliber, Either
Girl #1: I know her. She’s a skank.
Mother: Really?
Girl #2: Yeah. You can smell the hooker coming off of her.
Cambridge, Ohio
Hillary Goes Right for the Marrow
Woman on cell: Well, how long will rehab take? Oh, yes, the biting problem… She’s hasn’t broken the skin in a while, though.
DSW Shoes
Framingham, Massachusetts
Overheard by: mt
Answer Him, Bitch!
Little boy blowing into wrapping paper tube: Is this too loud, Mommy? [Mom is silent.] Mommy, is that too loud? [Silence, so boy screams] Was that loud enough for you, Mommy?!
Target
Laguna Niguel, California
And Not Having Them
Teacher explaining colonization: It all started with rubbers!
Maine
Overheard by: vampire hunter
Ow! What the Hell?
Conductor: Plenty of seats in the rear, folks!
Old guy, making way through crowd: I’ll take one in the rear!
http://overheardinphilly.blogspot.com/2007/05/insert-homosexual-joke-here.html
Overheard by: liz the whiz
Just Mediterranean Guys? Really?
Girl #1: You know, I think I really like this guy.
Girl #2: What’s his name again?
Girl #1: Andreas. He’s from Greece. He’s really cute.
Girl #2: Yeah, but be careful with those Mediterranean guys. They seem all well and good, but sooner or later they all try to fuck you in the ass.
Harrison Street and 19th Avenue
Hollywood, Florida
Overheard by: it’s funny ’cause it’s true
Allow Me to Draw a Penis on Your Forehead
Professor: What is the Magic Marker-ness of the Magic Marker?
Monmouth University
New Jersey
