Archive for November, 2007

When Martha Stew­art Has Night­mares

Naked guy with cock ring and whip: So, what are we do­ing lat­er this evening?
Boyfriend with nip­ple rings, dog col­lar, pad­lock, and leash: We’re go­ing to my par­ents’ for din­ner, re­mem­ber?
Naked guy: Oh, right. Your dad asked me to help him with the aquar­i­um.
Boyfriend, look­ing at huge dil­dos: And I want to help my mom fin­ish the quilt she’s work­ing on. And we should mulch the rose gar­den while we’re there, too.

Fol­som Street Fair
San Fran­cis­co, Cal­i­for­nia

Over­heard by: cul­tur­al tourist

I’ll Take “Peo­ple Who De­serve Each Oth­er” for $200, Alex

Girl: I al­ways clean the sheets. You nev­er no­tice, but I al­ways clean the sheets.
Guy: What? We don’t even have sheets on the bed right now.
Girl: And do you want to know why we don’t have sheets on the bed? Be­cause the oth­er night, af­ter you’d bled on them–
Guy: –I bled on them be­cause you kicked me.
Girl: I did not kick you! It was that mole — that mole that start­ed bleed­ing, which I’m very con­cerned about, by the way. Your mole should­n’t just start bleed­ing like that. But any­way, I had just cleaned the sheets, and then your mole bled on them, and I went to clean them again and I thought, ‘Why don’t I see how long it would take him to no­tice there aren’t even sheets on the bed?’ So that’s why we haven’t had sheets on the bed for a month.

12th and Lo­cust
Philadel­phia, Penn­syl­va­nia

Which May Be Why He’s Sleep­ing with Me

Chick: Okay, so here’s the sto­ry — I don’t know what to do about my crack­head boyfriend. He’s, like, se­ri­ous­ly on crack…
Friend: I re­al­ly think you’re over-think­ing every­thing…

Green line bus, Uni­ver­si­ty of Con­necti­cut
Storrs, Con­necti­cut