Drunk girl #1: That’s the first men’s bathroom I’ve ever been in that didn’t have porn mags!
Drunk girl #2: Not ones that you could see!
Lincoln, Nebraska
Archive for July, 2008
…Roll Videotape, Please
Professor: Then the electrons are passed around like a hot potato or, you know, a cheerleader.
Radford University, Virginia
If I Show Up Late, They’ll Devour Me After Intercourse
Man on cell: Hey man! Sorry I couldn’t make it, I’ve got tons of widows waiting on me!
Eccles Tennis center
Salt Lake City, Utah
Overheard by: Brittni
At Soon As I Get My Video Camera
Energetic little boy: Can I punch him?
Harassed mom: You can punch him later.
Lake Arrowhead, California
It’s Easily Mistaken for a Leak in the Basement
Galveston woman: I swear, when I first met Sheila 20 years ago she looked middle-aged. She still looks middle-aged.
Guest from California: Maybe she discovered the fountain of middle age.
Galveston, Texas
Overheard by: Chas
So the Liberal Media Would Have Us Believe
Woman: How old is that bible?
Clerk (picking it up): 1911.
Woman: Thats the first one?
Clerk: First what?
Woman: First bible.
Clerk: (astonished silence)
Resale Shop
Hammond, Indiana
Any Questions?
Professor: All the crazies kept moving from the East Coast to the west until they hit California. Some moved back to Oklahoma, but the rest of us just hope there’s an earthquake and California floats off into the Mediterranean to become a homeland for Palestinians.
Carroll College
Waukesha, Wisconsin
Overheard by: Abbey
All the Good Books Are Made Into Movies, Anyway
Teen son: I really want to read a book, I don’t know why.
Mother: No, it’s such a waste of money.
Target
Voorhees, New Jersey
Overheard by: deno
Where Are You Going with This?
Drunk: Two of my three girlfriends just dumped me. I’m looking for replacements.
Cute blonde: Do you like beer?
Drunk: Yes.
Cute blonde: In your face?
Carlton
Melbourne
Australia
Overheard by: itookherhome
And We’ve Got This Whole Textbook for the Class to Share
(math test is interrupted by a loud construction drill in the next room).
Student: Oh my god, I can’t take this test anymore! Can you tell them to stop, please?!
Teacher: Heh… At least there aren’t bullets flying over your head.
Concord High School
California
Overheard by: When I was in Vietnam
