Drunk girl #1: That’s the first men’s bathroom I’ve ever been in that didn’t have porn mags!
Drunk girl #2: Not ones that you could see!
Lincoln, Nebraska
Archive for July, 2008
…Roll Videotape, Please
Professor: Then the electrons are passed around like a hot potato or, you know, a cheerleader.
Radford University, Virginia
If I Show Up Late, They’ll Devour Me After Intercourse
Man on cell: Hey man! Sorry I couldn’t make it, I’ve got tons of widows waiting on me!
Eccles Tennis center
Salt Lake City, Utah
Overheard by: Brittni
At Soon As I Get My Video Camera
Energetic little boy: Can I punch him?
Harassed mom: You can punch him later.
Lake Arrowhead, California
It’s Easily Mistaken for a Leak in the Basement
Galveston woman: I swear, when I first met Sheila 20 years ago she looked middle-aged. She still looks middle-aged.
Guest from California: Maybe she discovered the fountain of middle age.
Galveston, Texas
Overheard by: Chas
So the Liberal Media Would Have Us Believe
Woman: How old is that bible?
Clerk (picking it up): 1911.
Woman: Thats the first one?
Clerk: First what?
Woman: First bible.
Clerk: (astonished silence)
Resale Shop
Hammond, Indiana
All the Good Books Are Made Into Movies, Anyway
Teen son: I really want to read a book, I don’t know why.
Mother: No, it’s such a waste of money.
Target
Voorhees, New Jersey
Overheard by: deno
Where Are You Going with This?
Drunk: Two of my three girlfriends just dumped me. I’m looking for replacements.
Cute blonde: Do you like beer?
Drunk: Yes.
Cute blonde: In your face?
Carlton
Melbourne
Australia
Overheard by: itookherhome
And We’ve Got This Whole Textbook for the Class to Share
(math test is interrupted by a loud construction drill in the next room).
Student: Oh my god, I can’t take this test anymore! Can you tell them to stop, please?!
Teacher: Heh… At least there aren’t bullets flying over your head.
Concord High School
California
Overheard by: When I was in Vietnam
I’ll Bet You Say That to All the Girls
(outside of a coffee shop downtown late at night)
Hipster chick: So then I went to the store and found out the shoes were discontinued but…
Creepy guy (with unzipped and unbuttoned pants): What are you guys talking about? Can I talk or are you going to kick me out?
Hipster chick: Uh… (looks around for a quick exit) No man, you can stay. We’re talking about shoes.
Creepy guy: You’re so hot. No, really. I would kiss you like you’d never think about shoes again.
Akron, Ohio
Overheard by: Julia M
