Girl on cell: I just took off my bra to make weight. Dignity? Gone.
Brazilian Jiu Jitsu Competition
Morristown, New Jersey
Overheard by: Ladle
Archive for August, 2008
Why Arsenal Is Losing the Battle for Hearts and Minds
Englishman in Manchester City shirt: Oi, is that a Manchester United shirt?
Eight-year-old Japanese boy: Herro.
Englishman in Manchester City shirt: Hello, you cunt.
Japan
Can You Wait Til I Drop You Off at Mommy’s?
Father: Look, there’s a potty over there!
Five-year-old daughter: No, I don’t wanna go in the porta-potty!
Father: Okay, where are you gonna go then?
Five-year-old daughter: In my pants!
Father: Alright!
SUNY
Purchase, New York
I’m Widely Studied on the Local Pleather and Acrylic-Nail Rituals
Long Island girl being interviewed: …my physical goals, well, I want to keep going to the gym, keep eating healthy, not smoking. My personal goals, one is that I really want to travel. Like this weekend I’m going to New Jersey for a wedding.
Starbucks
Long Island, New York
Overheard by: Queens girl
And No Claws This Time, Please
Cat being carried by a morning walker: Meaow! Meaow meaow!
Morning walker: Yeah yeah yeah, okay. Then what happened?
Cat: Meaow!
Morning walker: Really? So what did you do?
Joggers Park
Vashi, Bombay
India
Same Reason So Many People Apply to Haverford.
Hipster girl #1: I got into Northeastern for grad school. I dunno what to do.
Hipster girl #2: Wow, that’s really good! What a great school. Northwestern is like, famous.
Hipster girl #1: No, Northeastern.
Hipster girl #2: Oh. Is that a good school?
Hipster girl #1: Not really. But I figured if I put it small on my resume or say it fast, people will get confused. It clearly works!
30 Bus
San Francisco, California
And I Speak From Experience
Guy: I wonder why they don’t make “ribbed for her pleasure” Magnums.
Girl: Because if your shit’s that big to need a Magnum, it’s already her pleasure.
CVS
Atlanta, Georgia
Eddie Murphy Is a Thrilling Public Speaker
50-something gentleman: Honey, the last time I ran was from a drag queen prostitute, and that was ten years ago. I don’t run.
Valencia Street
San Francisco, California
Overheard by: McN
“Just Got Tubes Tied”?
Girl, holding up white lacey underwear with text across the ass: “Just married”? Shit, they should make a version that says “just divorced.”
Victoria’s Secret
San Francisco, California
Overheard by: McFreaky
…Except for Those Four Times
Hot chick to guy: Dude, I know. You’re such a good friend. You put up with my shit, and I’m not even blowing you!
Boston, Massachusetts
