Archive for May, 2009

When I Went In­to In­sulin Shock, the Joke Was on Her!

Loud fat man on bus: When I first found out I had di­a­betes, I had my wife go out and buy me a big case of pud­ding cups. I opened each one up and poured them in­to a tub with some milk.
Friend: Oh?
Loud fat man on bus: My moth­er-in-law did­n’t be­lieve I could eat it, but I sat down in front of her and drank the whole thing, just to spite her.

Port­land, Ore­gon

You Re­al­ize That Means “High­ly Pleas­ant to the Taste or Smell”?

Black girl #1: Girl, it is freez­ing out­side.
Black girl #2: Girl, I know, right?
Black girl #1: Nig­ga, you know what? I don’t have any blood, and since I don’t have blood I turn blue all over. All the blood I do have is in my ass, be­cause it is so lus­cious.
Black girl #2: Oh, nig­ga, I know that is right!

Uni­ver­si­ty of North Car­oli­na at Greens­boro

And She’d Squir­tle in Her Pants

Girl #1: Okay, so my sis­ter was watch­ing Poke­mon the oth­er day, and asked me a ques­tion about it, and I don’t know what to tell her.
Girl #2: Well, what is it?
Girl #1: She was won­der­ing, since there are no an­i­mals in the show, like cows or any­thing, if when they ate meat they were eat­ing Poke­mon.
Girl #2: Don’t tell her the truth, it’ll break her nerdy lit­tle heart.

Utah