Archive for June, 2009

…Af­ter What Hap­pened Last Time?

Sober soros­ti­tute with heavy smok­er’s voice: Like o‑m-g, I just de­cid­ed on my Hal­loween cos­tume!
Drunk soros­ti­tute, stamp­ing feet: Oh my god! What?! What what what?
Sober soros­ti­tute: Wait for it…wait for it… Lit­tle ho peep!
Drunk soros­ti­tute: Can we have sex with the lit­tle ho sheep?

Duke Uni­ver­si­ty
Durham, North Car­oli­na

Over­heard by: Dis­gust­ed

Just a Bit Self-Con­scious About His Ba­by-Car­rot Pe­nis

Blonde: So this guy was hit­ting on me and he was like, “so, do you have a boyfriend?” and I was like, “um­mm, yeah.” It was re­al­ly creepy. I was like, “oh my god, I can not tell my boyfriend about this!” I mean, nor­mal­ly he would­n’t re­al­ly care, but (looks around and low­ers voice) this guy was black, so I think my boyfriend might flip. I mean, not that he’s racist or any­thing.

Penn Tech
Williamsport, Penn­syl­va­nia

I’ve For­bid­den It from Watch­ing Terms Of En­dear­ment

Queer, af­ter be­ing rushed to play Scrab­ble: You don’t un­der­stand what it’s like hav­ing all vow­els!
Drunk girl: You don’t un­der­stand what it’s like hav­ing a vagi­na, so who wins?
Queer: I do! I have an emo­tion­al vagi­na.

Long Beach, Cal­i­for­nia

Over­heard by: puce­woman