Archive for September, 2009

Some­times They Play Back­up with Pa­per­clip Cas­tanets

Clar­inet girl: I have, like, this fetish with of­fice sup­plies, es­pe­cial­ly the elec­tric sta­pler.
Friend: Oh my god! What?
Clar­inet girl: Yeah, some­times my room­mate and I dance with it. And the boys above us creep at our win­dow.
Friend: Oh… in­ter­est­ing.

Over­heard by: Glad I don’t live near them… And glad I was­n’t stuck with ei­ther of them as a room­mate.

Fox: “Can We Base a Re­al­i­ty Se­ries on That Premise?”

Pro­fes­sor: I don’t even turn on the tele­vi­sion any­more. It’s just vi­o­lence. It’s all rape, and gore, and ho­mo­sex­u­al pe­dophiles in wheel­chairs who chop up grand­moth­ers.

Over­heard by: philoso­pher

Maybe Stop Vot­ing Re­pub­li­can?

Guy: My mom hit my dad with a fry­ing pan. He does­n’t have a cheek any­more. It’s been en­tire­ly re­struc­tured. She used to beat the shit out of him! It was so fun­ny. But when he drunk–that’s when she’d get a beat­ing.
Girl, sym­pa­thet­i­cal­ly: Your fam­i­ly…
Guy: Oh, I love my fam­i­ly! I don’t know what I’d do with­out them!

Nep­tune City, New Jer­sey