Archive for April, 2010

…With To­tal Ug­gs.

Girl #1: So what’s up with those boots you bought this week­end? You don’t look like the type to wear them.
Girl #2: Uh, Tim* want­ed me to buy them.
Girl #1: Oh, that’s right. I al­most for­got about his boot fetish.
Girl #2: And I’m pret­ty sure he wants me to wear them. And noth­ing else.
Girl #1, sigh­ing wist­ful­ly: I wish I had a hot re­la­tion­ship like that! All I have is slut sex!

Saint Pe­ter’s Col­lege
New Jer­sey

Some­times It’s a Good Time, Some­times It’s a Good Sto­ry

Woman #1, as bus pass­es bar: See that bar? There’s an­oth­er lo­ca­tion clos­er to the lake. My dad and I went there for a beer right af­ter I first moved here. I felt some­thing brush my leg and I looked down and saw a rat! I swear, it was a foot and a half long!
Woman #2: Oh my god! What did you do?
Woman #1: Oh, it was crazy. The own­er dis­ap­peared up­stairs and came back with a base­ball bat but by that time the rat was hid­ing be­tween the bar and the wall. So he runs off again and comes back with a blow­torch! It’s like, ‘hel­loooo, this whole bar is made of wood!“
Woman #2: So what hap­pened?
Woman #1: They took my ad­dress and that Mon­day I got a bou­quet of flow­ers. For not freak­ing out, I guess. I dun­no. I’ve nev­er been back…

Chica­go, Illi­nois