Fur­ther Ev­i­dence That Col­lege Does­n’t Buy You Class

Dude #1, see­ing sign read­ing “cum laude”: Look at that sign: cum load!
Dude #2: I was just go­ing to say that!

Mol
Bel­gium

What Are You Do­ing in Com­mu­ni­ty Col­lege?

Black guy: Hey! What coun­try you from?
Asian girl: Um… Amer­i­ca?
Black guy: You look Chi­nese.
Asian girl: I am?

Com­mu­ni­ty Col­lege
God­frey, Illi­nois

Over­heard by: M

Then They Die

Girl #1: Corey’s* got a treat­ment sched­uled for Mon­day.
Girl #2: What’s wrong with him?
Guy: Noth­ing.
Girl #1: He’s got can­cer.
Guy: He’s fine. Peo­ple get can­cer all the time.

Nicholls State Uni­ver­si­ty
Thi­bo­daux, Louisiana

…So I Re­quest­ed a Dif­fer­ent Wait­er.

Girl to friends: He looked like a Mex­i­can vam­pire, and it did not work for me.

Clarksville, Mary­land

Over­heard by: I can see why

Giv­en My Raspy Voice

Blonde: I like berries. Kate, you should be a berry.
Kate: That can be arranged.

Cal­i­for­nia

As Are Balls.

13-year-old boy in black “Rock On” shirt: I want a pink ball. Pink is man­ly.

Stephens City, Vir­ginia

Over­heard by: Ty­bois

Hen­ry VI­I­I’s Kids Had Some Se­ri­ous Psy­cho­log­i­cal Is­sues

Lit­tle girl, hold­ing man­nequin’s hand: Dad­dy! Dad­dy! Look!
Dad: Is that your new mom­my?
Lit­tle girl, singing: No! She does­n’t have a head!

Coralville, Iowa

Ten Bucks Says He Still Tries to Sleep with Her

Se­ri­ous gen­tle­man: The his­tor­i­cal fig­ure from re­cent his­to­ry that I most re­spect? I’d have to say… Gand­hi.
Cute young woman: Gand­hi? I think I’ve seen some of his work…

Din­ner Par­ty
Lon­don
Eng­land

It Keeps Me from Bit­ing My­self

Teacher, about Thore­au: Who’s heard about the cone of si­lence?
Kid: I know about the cone of shame!

Con­cord Mu­se­um
Con­cord, Mass­a­chu­setts

…And 36C.

Girl sell­ing cof­fee: Do you want sug­ar in this?
Guy buy­ing cof­fee: How big are your cups?
Girl sell­ing cof­fee, face turn­ing red: That’s a bit per­son­al!

Scot­land

Over­heard by: somedaft­lassie