Archive for February, 2011

I’m So Glad We Can Talk Like This

Girl #1, sit­ting on couch: I hate it when peo­ple sit on chairs that are fac­ing me. It’s ir­ri­tat­ing.
Girl #2: Yeah, I hate it too. There are oth­er places they can sit.

Over­heard by: girl sit­ting on chair fac­ing you

Don’t Even Get Them Start­ed on the Pussy Prod­ucts.

Lit­tle girl: Can I have the nose now?
Guy: Yeah, sure, it prob­a­bly has every­one’s snot on it now, though.
Old­er girl: Ew! Oh my gosh, men­tal im­age!
Guy: What do you want me to say? I’m speak­ing their lan­guage.
Old­er girl: Say “nose… prod­ucts.” It has “nose prod­ucts.“
Guy, laugh­ing hys­ter­i­cal­ly: Nose prod­ucts?
Old­er girl: Yes, nose prod­ucts.
Lit­tle girl, hold­ing out fake vam­pire teeth: Here, take my mouth prod­ucts.

Kids’ Play­ground
Man­hat­tan, New York

Trans­la­tion: “No Big Bang Tonight.”

Frumpy Hermionesque girl: Why don’t we try to use the for­mu­la for find­ing the lo­ca­tion of two galax­ies next to one an­oth­er?
Hip­ster boy in iron­ic win­ter hat: Why would we do that? We’re try­ing to find the age of the uni­verse. You’re the worst part­ner ever.
Frumpy Hermionesque girl: Fuck you, I’m go­ing to find the age of the uni­verse on my own!

Un­der­grad­u­ate Li­brary
Uni­ver­si­ty of Michi­gan

Over­heard by: Todd

TV Lied to Me

Six-year-old boy hold­ing “pil­low pet”, singing: It’s a pil­low, it’s a pet, it’s a pil­low pet! (then, whis­per­ing to him­self) This is­n’t as cool as I thought it would be…

White Plains, New York

Over­heard by: M