Guy to friend talking during movie: Dude, shut the fuck up! I’m gonna walk in while you’re having sex and go, “aw, look, she’s moaning!”
overheardattcnj.blogspot.com
Overheard by: Overheard at TCNJ
Archive for May, 2011
I’ll Rescue You, but I’ll Also Never Let You Forget It
Young girl from bathroom stall: Mom! There’s no toilet paper in here!
Mother: I’d say that represents a failure in planning on your part.
Toronto
Canadia
…Like in The Sweetest Thing?
Student #1: Hey, did you notice the huge black wooden sign that’s blocking the entrance to the girl’s bathroom due to vandalism?
Student #2: Yeah, I heard someone stole one of the urinals.
Student #1: It’s a girl’s bathroom, though.
Student #2: Don’t they use them too?
High School
Gavette, Arkansas
…Of American Debt
Professor: China’s a sausage fest.
Murray State University
Kentucky
…My Salty, Greasy, Utterly Empty Life
Stoned girl looking at bottom of empty chip bag: Ugh, this is why I hate life.
Elk Grove, California
Overheard by: MelBee
She’s Like, “Eh, I’ll Make More”
Girl: I’ve heard that woman over there is giving away some of her kids.
Campinas
Brazil
Gosh, I Miss Circuit Parties.
Nurse #1: Constipated and a lot of bloody stool.
Nurse #2: (laughs uproariously)
North Shore Hospital
Long Island, New York
Overheard by: Ladle
Just Like Me Ignoring That Stop Sign!
Policeman, pulling over drunk guy on bike: License and registration, please.
Drunk guy: I’m on a bike!
Policeman: Sorry, force of habit.
Jefferson City, Missouri
Overheard by: BartMan
A Plan That Cannot Possibly Fail
Student: Did you know that you can live off of student loans?
Professor: No, you can’t.
Student: Yeah. All you do is just keep going back to school, and they’ll pay for everything.
Professor: But eventually you’ll have to pay them back.
Student: Not if you die.
Nicholls State University
Louisiana
It’s the Gateway Drug for Straight Porn
Boyfriend #1: If I go home and find one piece of tranny porn on my computer, I am going to melt all your chocolate-covered pistachios and pour the chocolate down the toilet. I don’t know what I’m going to do with the nuts… probably freeze them. I don’t know…
Boyfriend #2: That is seriously life-ruining shit. Like a PSA on how tranny porn ruins lives.
Mountain View, California
Overheard by: Koora
