Skinny guy with pink hair: I don’t think I could be any more bad-ass.
Ottawa
Canadia
Archive for July, 2011
Bella Has Yet to Date Anyone Who Meets Her Father’s Approval
Guy on phone: Hold on a minute, I just have to cut something off my daughter…
Jersey City, New Jersey
…While You’re Working As a Mall Santa.
Husband: I’m good at finding little kids’ panties.
Wife: That’s not a quality that you should announce.
Jersey City, New Jersey
…Which Is Weird, Because I Keep Fucking Complete Douches.
Teen girl #1: Tell him it’s a date. I need to get laid.
Teen girl #2: Oh my goodness.
Teen girl #1: My vagina has cobwebs!
Vancouver
Canadia
Overheard by: Carly
You Women Sure Know How to Dick Around.
Woman #1, standing over large dropped box on floor: Ugh, I dropped it.
Woman #2: That’s it! Straddle it, you’ll get it.
Woman #1: I can never get it up.
Target
North Charleston, South Carolina
Overheard by: Chris M
The Original Screenplay for Waiting to Exhale Left Something to Be Desired
Gay white male, exiting train: I can only go ten stops without smoking a cigarette, otherwise I get angry!
Old black female, entering train: Damn, mo’ sugar in here than a tank of Kool-Aid.
Orange Line
Boston, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Cryptic C62
On the Plus Side, If People Think You’re 16, You Totally Have a Future in Barely-Legal Porn!
Young woman #1: And I was like, “No, dude who’s two years older than me, I’m not 16. Nice mandals.“
Young woman #2: You said that?
Young woman #1: Oh, no. I try really hard to think of other things when 25-year-olds are hitting on my mom.
Young woman #2: I’m really sorry.
Nail Salon
Napa, California
The Postal Service Has Really Stepped Up Its Game
Man to woman at post office: Oh, I must be hallucinating.
Post office lady: Congratulations, that’s lovely.
Austin, Texas
Alcohol Helps You Deal with the Strange.
Guy in pub, having just arrived at the table where his friends are: I have had the strangest day, and I’m not even drunk yet.
Canterbury
England
Overheard by: Noel
The Difference Between the U.S. and the Rest Of the World
Large American girl: So I asked him, “what’s your problem?“
British girl: What did he say?
Large American girl: He said I was too fat.
British girl: Oh…
Large American girl: Motherfucker doesn’t realize that big is beautiful.
Drunk British guy behind them: That’s a whole lotta big! Chub, chub, chub!
Leamington Spa
England
Overheard by: Bleep
