Skinny guy with pink hair: I don’t think I could be any more bad-ass.
Ottawa
Canadia
Skinny guy with pink hair: I don’t think I could be any more bad-ass.
Ottawa
Canadia
Guy on phone: Hold on a minute, I just have to cut something off my daughter…
Jersey City, New Jersey
Teen girl #1: Tell him it’s a date. I need to get laid.
Teen girl #2: Oh my goodness.
Teen girl #1: My vagina has cobwebs!
Vancouver
Canadia
Overheard by: Carly
Woman #1, standing over large dropped box on floor: Ugh, I dropped it.
Woman #2: That’s it! Straddle it, you’ll get it.
Woman #1: I can never get it up.
Target
North Charleston, South Carolina
Overheard by: Chris M
Gay white male, exiting train: I can only go ten stops without smoking a cigarette, otherwise I get angry!
Old black female, entering train: Damn, mo’ sugar in here than a tank of Kool-Aid.
Orange Line
Boston, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Cryptic C62
Young woman #1: And I was like, “No, dude who’s two years older than me, I’m not 16. Nice mandals.“
Young woman #2: You said that?
Young woman #1: Oh, no. I try really hard to think of other things when 25-year-olds are hitting on my mom.
Young woman #2: I’m really sorry.
Nail Salon
Napa, California
Man to woman at post office: Oh, I must be hallucinating.
Post office lady: Congratulations, that’s lovely.
Austin, Texas
Guy in pub, having just arrived at the table where his friends are: I have had the strangest day, and I’m not even drunk yet.
Canterbury
England
Overheard by: Noel
Large American girl: So I asked him, “what’s your problem?“
British girl: What did he say?
Large American girl: He said I was too fat.
British girl: Oh…
Large American girl: Motherfucker doesn’t realize that big is beautiful.
Drunk British guy behind them: That’s a whole lotta big! Chub, chub, chub!
Leamington Spa
England
Overheard by: Bleep
Hippie: Yeah, John saw things that nobody should see.
Chic woman: Dude! We all did! Your house was seriously gross!
Hippie: Uh, I meant when he was in the war in Iraq…
Nashville, Tennessee
Hat Tip 🎩 to The Marketing Scientist