Archive for November, 2011

Only If My Chihuahua Could Have One to Match, Of Course.

College girl to college boy: I’d be the only one there in an argyle straight jacket! How cute would that be?

Overheard by: dk.

Are You Ever Gonna Stop Using That Line on Me?

Pregnant girl: Did you bring your money?
Unpregnant girl: Aww crap, I forgot.
Pregnant girl: You forget everything.
Unpregnant girl: Yeah, but I don’t forget condoms.

University Park Mall

“Take, Eat, This Is My Body” Always Gets Me Going.

20-something woman to 20-something man: We could never sit by each other in church because we would get the church giggles.

Overheard by: Stu

Miley Cyrus Is Only 16

Girl #1 in consulting firm business suit: Why didn’t you say anything?
Girl #2 in consulting firm business suit: Well, I couldn’t just tell her she looked like a fucking crack ho.

Overheard by: rosslyn

Why Pre-Teen Girls Refuse to Shop with Their Mothers: Explained.

Woman: I got a ten year old.
Saleslady, holding up a shirt: Okay, how about this?
Woman: No, she’s big. She’s got some junk in her trunk.

Overheard by: huh.


Coffee shop guy: If you go to Norway, you’re going to be competing with guys who like, have their facial hair shaped like windmills and shit!
Friend: (mumbles)
Coffee shop guy: The only person in the world is not a cloud of polygons.

Austin, Texas

I’d Be Lying If I Said I Wasn’t Disappointed

Girl #1: Are you dressing up for Halloween this year?
Girl #2: Yeah, we’re going as whore people.
Girl #1: What? “Whore people”?! So just really slutty?
Girl #2: No, like characters from horror movies.