Girl to another: Wait, so you want cookies and you don’t want chlamydia?
Vancouver
Canadia
Overheard by: wouldn’t you?
Girl to another: Wait, so you want cookies and you don’t want chlamydia?
Vancouver
Canadia
Overheard by: wouldn’t you?
Husband: Isn’t Kelsey Grammer dead?
Wife: No. (pause) He’s a Republican…
Germantown, Maryland
Overheard by: Nic
Very buff man: She was so excited she ate my daughter’s shit!
Montreal
Canadia
Overheard by: Alex
Mother to fussy infant: We are not friends. Do you hear me? What is it about me that makes you want to throw up?
Chesapeake, Virginia
Orange line subway driver: I’m closing the doors to this train, and don’t you be thinkin’ god’s gonna open a window and let your ass on.
http://www.universalhub.com/2011/lets-play-guess-subway-line
Teen girl #1: I’m freezing! I texted my mom and asked her to bring me a sweatshirt and she said no! I mean, I brought one with me but it makes me look too puffy.
Teen girl #2: I know, right?
Newington, New Hampshire
Overheard by: Heather
Professor: And then of course you’re gonna get the morons who say that aliens created the pyramids.
Student: You mean they didn’t? You can’t explain that!
Rider University
Lawrenceville, New Jersey
Female college student during lecture: I didn’t eat for two days after watching Human Centipede because I was afraid to poop.
Chicago, Illinois
High school boy on bus: But I don’t want to shoot up heroin into my balls!
San Francisco, California
Guy: I may or may not have taken part in an orgy. I don’t know yet.
Los Angeles, California
Hat Tip 🎩 to The Marketing Scientist