Archive for January, 2012

What? These Are Slate.

Girl wear­ing gray boots on cell: It is a cute dress and it would be even cuter if I had gray boots to wear with it.

Birm­ing­ham, Al­aba­ma

Don’t They Pre­fer Nuts?

Loud hip­ster girl: Lis­ten to me. A squir­rel could le­git run up and bite your vagi­na.


…Af­ter Feed­ing Me Tequi­la.

Cheer couch #1: I can tell when a cop is com­ing, by the head­lights.
Cheer couch #2: I wish I could tell when a cops com­ing.
Cheer couch #1: Yeah, it’s god’s way of pro­tect­ing me.

Custer, South Dako­ta

Over­heard by: Oh Ya Know!

And Then How Would I Play My Cel­lo?

Girl tak­ing pic­ture of friends: Why aren’t you smil­ing? You should be smil­ing.
Asian friend: I’m Asian. When I smile my eyes dis­ap­pear.

New Jer­sey

Over­heard by: Katie

Ex­cept He­le­na Bon­ham Carter, Of Course.

Hobo, stum­bling on­to train: You know, every­body’s just too scared to tell white peo­ple the truth! But I’­ma tell ’em the truth! White peo­ple ain’t white… they pink!

Man­hat­tan, New York

Al­so, I’ve Grad­ed Your Midterms.

Eng­lish pro­fes­sor, dis­cussing fairy tales: Think of The Beau­ty and the Beast. You can’t have talk­ing clocks, can­de­labra, or teacups. And if I’m re­al­ly ru­in­ing your day, there’s no San­ta, ei­ther.

Uni­ver­si­ty of Louisville
Louisville, Ken­tucky

Over­heard by: …wait a minute, what??