Archive for January, 2012

What? These Are Slate.

Girl wearing gray boots on cell: It is a cute dress and it would be even cuter if I had gray boots to wear with it.

Macy’s
Birmingham, Alabama


Don’t They Prefer Nuts?

Loud hipster girl: Listen to me. A squirrel could legit run up and bite your vagina.

London
Canadia


…After Feeding Me Tequila.

Cheer couch #1: I can tell when a cop is coming, by the headlights.
Cheer couch #2: I wish I could tell when a cops coming.
Cheer couch #1: Yeah, it’s god’s way of protecting me.

Custer, South Dakota

Overheard by: Oh Ya Know!


And Then How Would I Play My Cello?

Girl taking picture of friends: Why aren’t you smiling? You should be smiling.
Asian friend: I’m Asian. When I smile my eyes disappear.

New Jersey

Overheard by: Katie


Except Helena Bonham Carter, Of Course.

Hobo, stumbling onto train: You know, everybody’s just too scared to tell white people the truth! But I’ma tell ’em the truth! White people ain’t white… they pink!

Manhattan, New York


Also, I’ve Graded Your Midterms.

English professor, discussing fairy tales: Think of The Beauty and the Beast. You can’t have talking clocks, candelabra, or teacups. And if I’m really ruining your day, there’s no Santa, either.

University of Louisville
Louisville, Kentucky

Overheard by: …wait a minute, what??